Weird Products from Across the Web: Volume 1

****UPDATED BELOW*****

I surf the web  A LOT. Since I have two babies, I don’t really have much time to do so at home. I do most of my nonsense at work. These are items that i have stumbled upon along my journey.

#1 Dog- End

DOG-END TOWEL HOLDER

Is this product really necessary? Imagine having to hang your towel back up by sticking your finger where the sun don’t shine! I would be too shy.

If you’re interested anyway, you can find it here for $19.99

 

 

 

#2 Weird Band Aids

Pickle Band-Aids- because- why not?  

 

I totally get the whole leopard print, barbie band-aids. I think they’re cute. But pickle & bacon bandages? Wouldn’t they be wrapped around your finger anyway- rendering their shape useless? That is.. unless you cut your leg and then  walk around with a pickle on your knee.Warning: dogs may try to bite you.You can find them here for $3.99- but why would you?

#3 Albino Bowler Action Figure

looking snazzy in his bowling shirt

 This is Dick. He is an Albino. Not only does his hair shine in the morning sun, he bowls. If you cannot live without him– you are out of luck. He has been discontinued. Maybe he can be found on ebay- but I’m not promising anything.

 

 

#4 The Wine “Rack”

When I drink, I like to touc*h my boob

This product is touted as a “Girls Best Friend”- I actually thought that was diamonds, I guess I was wrong. Seriously, if you have to hide wine in your boobs when you go out to functions- you have a SERIOUS drinking problem and need to enter rehab right away. Don’t even continue reading this blog: check in now!

 

I mean, at first you might attract men  with your giant rack, but once you drink all the alcohol, and your “boobs” deflate- your cover is blown. On second thought, I doubt any man would care- you’ll probably be smashed enough to sleep with them- so they will just be grateful.

Can be found here for only $29.95 (not including the cost of the alcohol).

Of course- they didn’t forget about you men out there:

Shh.. don't tell anyone I like the sauce

Because what woman isn’t attracted to a guy wearing a fake “beer” belly filled with warm alcohol they smuggled in?

 

Weird Edibles:

#1 Chocka  Ca Ca

Chocka Ca Ca

This decadent chocolate is in the shape of something your 10 month old might create. It is beautifully packaged in an actual diaper. You can find it here for $4.99.

 

 

#2 Edible Teef

Candy-Teef

If you have ever dreamt of stealing your grandfather’s dentures and feasting on them- this is the candy for you! This sugar packed candy is in the shape of teeth. Not just any teeth- rotting teeth (which is how your teeth will look after eating this candy). If the packaging alone doesn’t tantalize you, the free tattoo in the package will. You can find them here for $5.99

 

#3 Sigmund Freud Lollipop

Hello Gorgeous

I believe they ran out of shapes for lollipop- because the regular “round” wasn’t cutting it. That’s when some genius thought of this innovative sucker. For the mere price of $1.75, you too can own some “piece of mind”- get it?

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So after publishing this post, I get an email from a fellow blogger saying that he actually HAS THE ALBINO BOWLER. At first, I didnt believe him and asked for proof. It came in the form of a picture a few hours later:

Maddie, Mike & Albino bowler

Thanks Mike!