Category Archives: My daughters

Is anyone home?

So I haven’t blogged in 2 years. 

It was a combination of many reasons.

I felt like it became a job. I stopped enjoying it.

I started blogging 7 years ago because I felt like it was a release- and then it didn’t.

But it’s been two years, and I missed it.

I probably have NO READERS left, and that’s ok too.

So what’s happened in the past two years…

For those who don’t follow me on instagram, or know me personally… we welcomed another daughter in April of 2013.

Her name is Eden and she is our little miracle.

Continue reading


Can I Pull off Bald?

My girls are reaching an age where they make me want to run away and join a cult. You know, just to get away from them (plus I believe shaving my head will only do my hair wonders).

They are 4.5 now, and the past month or so, I feel as though they are gettting more annoying by the minute. All they do is fight with one another, and bug each other, and hit each other. All I hear is “Mommy, she did X to me”. They just cannot get along. At all. And I don’t know if its because of their age, or if its because they are siblings, or even if its because they are girls and twins. All I do know is that nowhere in any of the parenting books I read was a chapter on how to be the best referee. Seems as though I have turned into one. At all times.


Don’t let those sweet faces fool you.

I thought it would end when we gave them each their own room last summer, but it didn’t. I decided to sign them up for separate preschool classes come this fall. I want them to miss one another. Plus, their preschool teacher told me that it would do wonders for them. So from 7:30AM-2:00PM during the week, they will be separated and from 2-5pm they will remain in the same after school program.

I pray this does something. I’m just so tired of yelling at them to stop bickering and fighting.

Any words of advice?


My Neve,

You wake up grumpy in the morning. If it were up to you, you would watch morning TV and go to school when YOU were ready.

You are a character.

You love to make people laugh and smile.

You are always the star of the show.

You jump into things head first.

You are fearless.

You get mad and frustrated often when things dont go your way.

You remind me so much of me as a child.

You are definetly Mommy’s little girl.

You dont warm to everyone- but those you do, you love with all your heart.

I am absolutley in love with you- and we have a love affair only we understand.

You rule our house and you know it.

I adore you to the moon and back.




My girls turned 4 last week.. a letter to them.

My sweet Soleil,

She wakes up in the morning with a smile on her face, ready to conquer the world.

She is so easy to get along with that all the little girls surround her when she walks into preschool.

She shares.

She reasons.

“Mommy, can I wear a dress today?” she asks (if it were up to her she would wear one every day!)

She loves clothes just like her mommy.

When I am all dressed and ready for work, she will come over to me and give me a big hug and kiss because she likes what I’m wearing.

When she likes someone she cuddles up on them and lets them stroke her hair.

She’s stubborn like a mule which I think comes from her being a Scorpio. I wonder if she would be less stubborn if she were born on her due date in mid January (which would have made her a Capricorn)

She can drive me to the brink of insanity with that strong will of hers.

She sucks her thumb just like her Mommy did (for the first 7 years of my life!)

She is Daddy’s little girl- there is no way around that.

She is open to trying new foods, but new experiences scare her a bit (like when she ran for the hills when she saw a life size smurf when we were at the premier of the Smurfs movie).

Mature way beyond her years, she seems as though she already knows this world well.

Happy Birthday little lady.

My world is brighter because of my sunshine.

Comparing Apples to Jennifers

My name, both first and last, are pretty ethnic.

I grew up in a school with people just like me (i.e children of middle eastern descent) so my name was pretty normal in the scheme of things, comparatively speaking of course.

I always loved my first name (Maya) but my last name has always been hard to pronounce.

I was reading an online article about a study that was done regarding ethnic names:

Two identical resumes were sent out for the same positions with two different names: One “English/ white ” name and one “Ethnic” name.

The “english/white” names got more interviews.

According to a study for the National Bureau of Economics, resumes and applications with names more commonly given to white Americans were 50 percent more likely to be contacted for job interviews than those applicants with names more associated with black/ middle eastern Americans.

I’ve been lucky enough to have a good amount of career experience  and contacts under my belt to have my ethnic name not “matter” to potential employers, but I wonder just how my girls will be effected by their names.

I’ve always loved that my first name was different, that it stood out in a group or in a classroom. That’s why when it came time to naming my children, I knew that I wanted names that were going to be different, to stand out, yet not in a negative way. The names Neve and Soleil were different, but not enough for it to be a burden on them (at least I hope not).

When my girls were 2 years old I took them for a well check up. When I was about to write their names down on the waiting list, I had noticed that the name Soleil had already been written. There were two families in the waiting room: one white, and the other black. I wondered to myself for a moment which of the families would have gravitated toward the name Soleil like I had.

Turns out it was the white family who had also loved the name (made famous by Punky Brewster aka Soleil Moon Frye) and we were  excited to find another couple who named their daughter Soleil… it’s as if we were given a confirmation that the name was OK and not too out there.

I read an article that said that the celebrity name that most parents regret giving their daughters is “Beyonce”

I could totally see why that would happen , since certain names tend to be fads.

I often get a head tilt when people hear my response after they ask me my girls names.

They don’t get it.

And that’s OK too.

I just hope that they grow up and tell me that they do love their names and that they were happy I named them something that was a bit unconventional.

And if they don’t – well…there’s always the Social Security Office.

What did you name your children (or want to name your children)- and what does it mean to you?

Larger Than Life

This past summer, I feel like I have seen the most change in my girls: they are more articulate when they speak, they express their needs in a more specific manner and their motor skills are improving.

Every morning they wake up and ask to color.

They went through an ENTIRE pack of printer paper in a week!

My girls are getting to an age, where their drawings are starting to look like actual things.

It’s strange, it’s as if overnight they are becoming these little people.

The other week I asked my daughter to draw Mommy & Daddy.

She came back with this:

Drawings by 3.5 year olds add 10 pounds
They say you can learn a lot by asking your kid to draw you.
What I learned:
1) Mommy seems larger than life
2) Daddy looks tiny compared to Mommy
3) Mommy is chunky
4) Daddy is skinny
5) Mommy needs to blow dry her hair
6) Mommy needs to smile more
7) My kid knows how to draw eyebrows!
8) I need new shoes
What do you think? Am I imagining this- or does my kid think mommy is larger than life?
Also- have you ever asked your kids to draw you?

Letters Lost

I found this letter in my blog drafts just now… I havent seen this since I wrote it 4 years ago. It is a letter I wrote for my girls when I was 2 months along..
Dear Babies,
This is my first official letter to you. Right now you are tiny (size of a paper clip) and sharing a womb- play nice. Daddy and I can’t wait until you arrive. We hope for the best but plan for the worst. As much as we already love you I think we’re keeping our love for you at arms length- just in case the worst does in case happen.
I don’t feel like a mother yet. I worry about you, yes. I take care not to ingest or be surrounded by things that may be bad for you. I have horrible dreams at night that I lose you and I wake up in a cold sweat. All you will ever see me as- is a mother. You will not know me as a young childless woman, and it will be hard for you to picture me as one. I know sometimes I see pictures of my mother as a young teen and can’t imagine what she was like.
Your home will be surrounded by love. I don’t think I grew up in a home like that. I grew up in a home with parents that married out of convenience, not love, and that penetrated every aspect of my childhood. I vowed that my family would never be that way. Don’t worry- you have nothing to worry about-Daddy and Mommy love each other and have beaten all the odds to be together. I am looking forward to seeing a mixture of your father and I embedded on your faces.
We worked very hard to have you. I wanted you for so long and thought that it might never happen. Nature wasn’t on our side. Daddy had to give mommy shots every day and mommy had to go through a roller coaster of emotions and procedures. But now you are here. I would do it all over again. You will never wonder whether or not you were wanted.
I see my growing belly and it has become noticeable to the world around me. I was always jealous of women with their pregnant bellies walking around . I so wanted to be one of them, to know what it was like to be carrying a life. Now I know. But by the same token I am scared that you will be taken away from me and we will be left alone.
Our house is quiet now, it will be this way for another 6 months. After that, the noise will comfort us.
I will try to not only be your mother, but also your friend. I hope that I can find a happy medium between the two and make it work. I would never want you to feel that you cannot come to me or your father if you have a problem. I was lacking that in my own home and it is not what I want for you.
I am very happy that you will have one another. I hope and pray that you will love each other and have a bond that no one can break.
Looking forward to seeing your faces and loving you…