I’ve been blogging now for 4.5 years.
I started with a very clear topic: infertility.
Now, well.. life changes.
My blog changed.
I’m a different person today than I was in February of 2007.
Sometimes I lose my way with this blog.
I want to go in a million directions, but then nothing comes out. no words are written.
I am a million people in one day.
I wear many hats.
A few hundred people visit my blog daily.
I still cant believe that.
Who are these people?
Who are you people?
What have I done to deserve an audience?
Some of my very best friends are Blogger Superstars.
I just have this tiny little blog- look ma, no ads!
I’m just a woman, trying her best.
As you can tell, my last blog post was about a month ago.
I had some writers block.
then I got an email this morning that changed it all.
A woman emailed me with the subject line “Thank You.”
She proceeded to tell me that by writing about my depression and subsequent anti depressant meds- that I inspired her to do the same… and that now she is more present with her kids.
“I have been reading your blog for about 18ish months, but reading your post a few months ago was like looking into a mirror. Hearing you say you can now be with your girls and be present…it was like a ray of light came through the clouds. I thought I was the only one who felt like I couldn’t be present with my kids. I love my kids, I always have. I would do anything for them. I love my amazing husband, I always have – but I have not been present…looking back, it must be since since my first child was born, 10.5 years ago. It has only gotten worse since.”
“Thank you for not only having the courage to take that step for yourself. But to speak (write) about it, in a very public way, to be an example, so that other moms, like me – thousands of miles away could gather strength and know that we are not alone. So that we know other moms are going through similar feelings, and there is a way to move out of the fog; for the sake of our children, our marriages and ourselves.”
By that point tears where streaming down my face… (while I was on a packed train headed to work mind you.)
“Thank you…more than words can say…”
And you know what I say to this?
Thank you for listening and reading, and relating.
Thank YOU for making me feel like I am not alone.
Thank YOU for letting me know that I am not some sort of monster for feeling that way that I have felt.
And this blog has helped me reclaim me.
And all of you have helped me find me.
And held me up when I needed you to.
So to all of you I say- Thank you.