Every morning when I get my daughter Soleil dressed for school, she looks in the mirror and asks me “I’m beautiful, right mommy?”
The first time she asked me this, I was taken aback.
The truth is, I am taken aback each time she asks me this (which now happens to be daily)
I wonder why she asks me these questions, as I never talk about outer beauty.
I actually make it a point not to.
I remember as a child, my mother always looking in the mirror as she got dressed and saying “I look so fat today”
This definitely made an impact on my self-awareness and self esteem.
I always thought I was fat.
I always felt unattractive.
I still do.
I always said it.
Suddenly, when I was blessed to become the mother of two beautiful little girls, I had a chance to make it right.
I had a chance to help mold their self-esteem… and my own.
I never ever use the F word in front of them (F being fat that is)
I almost never talk about outer beauty.
I want them to know that their self-worth is not determined by what they look like, but by who they are.
unfortunately, I alone am not the only one who has an impact on them.
Take for example many of the Disney princess movies out there (except for Beauty and the Beast…)..
The evil queen hated snow white because she was the fairest of them all
Not because she was the smartest of them all
Soleil always wants to dress up in pretty dresses and accessories.
She always says she wants to be like mommy.
When I get dressed for work, and look particularly nice, she walks over to me , tells me I look pretty and gives me a kiss on the leg.
And when she does this, a part of me worries.
I worry because I don’t want her to judge her self-worth based on her outer beauty.
To me, she is a beautiful little girl.
She is beautiful on the outside, but the inside is what makes her so amazing.
This little girl wakes up EVERY.SINGLE.MORNING with a smile on her face.
Like her name, she truly is my sunshine in the morning.
She hardly ever complains, and is so thoughtful.
Other children love to be around her because she is so caring and loves to share.
so when she asks me “Mommy, am I beautiful?” I look at her and respond, that she is beautiful because she is a beautiful person on the inside.
She then looks at me with her innocent eyes, the eyes that have yet to be touched or effected by society and says “Everyone is beautiful”
how do you instill positive self-esteem in your children?