So I have confession to make to the couple of hundred of you who read my blog daily (FYI I still CANNOT get over that there are a few hundred of you! I used to have like 4 visitors a day)…
Any who, us ladies have it rough.
Who says we are supposed to be hairless like Dina Manzo’s cat?
You see where I am going with this?
Fine damn it, I will just say it.
I am of the hairy persuasion.
Take 50% unhairy woman and mix her with a caveman husband and what do you get?
100% Cavewoman to be exact.
I started realizing that I was hairier than my peers at around age 10, you know.. when the unibrow formed above my eyes.
I put Bert to shame.
Oh, that and my EXCESSIVE leg hair.
Often, people would mistake my legs for leg warmers.
I would wear pantyhose to hide my shame, but there was no hiding those hairy suckers as they would come slashing out of the fabric.
I remember begging my mother to let me shave my legs at age 10.
“No, you are too young” I remember her saying.
“Let’s discuss this when you hit Bat Mitzvah age” (which is 12 to all you non Jews)
Of course, I couldn’t wait.
The summer of my 10th year, I spent a lazy afternoon with a friend. She was 12. An older woman. Her mother let her shave her legs. My friend said she would show me how to shave my legs.
Awesome I thought!
Finally, I will be hair free (HA!)
So she demonstrated on her leg- I proceeded to take the razor and make a clean line from the bottom all the way to the top of my leg.
And I freaked the F out.
So I put the razor down and told her I was too scared my mother would kill me.
Later that day, while talking to my mother and aunt, my mother gazed down at my leg (I totally should not have been wearing shorts) and asked me “Did you shave a strip on your leg?
“Umm yes- but i stopped”
She kept her cool, because there were others around but reminded me that I needed to wait until Bat Mitzvah age.
It took about 5 minutes until that landing strip on my leg was back to full- on leg weave.
Then as I got older, facial hair started forming.
But mine wasnt only on top of my lip, I had FULL ON side burns.
I put Elvis to shame.
I waxed my arms, shaved my legs, waxed my upper lip and unibrow… but the side burns…. oy, those were freaking bad.
So I tried shaving, which TOTALLY WAS NOT the way to go- it grew in darker and thicker.
A friend of mine in high school called me “wolfman”.. needless to say it didnt help my self esteem.
Then I tried threading, and ultimately landed on waxing.
Waxing is a dear old friend of mine.
The money that I have spent trying to rid myself of all this unwanted body hair is INSANE.
My husband is HAIRLESS.
He has 2 hairs on his chest.. and I am being literal.
I worried that my daughters would inherit my natural born parka.
One did, the other didn’t.
The one that did will SOOOO Hate me.
I have found the best way to rid myslef of my facial hair is LASER HAIR REMOVAL.
OMG in America it is crazy expensive, so when I got to Israel and realized that I could remove my unwanted facial hair for $800- it was like I hit the lotto.
My husband didnt say ONE word when I went and spent that money, because he knows of my daily war with my hair (body and the afro on top of my head).
Let me tell you, laser hair removal hurts like a MOFO.
But it is sooo worth it.
Bring on the pain.
Maybe one day, I will look like Dina Manzo’s cat…
*IS there anything on your body that you would love to change? If so, what is it and why. Dude, I wont judge. I just told you I had sideburns like Elvis.