Bumpy Ride

What do you get when you take two toddlers and throw in a case of the stomach flu?

One EXHAUSTED mom.

They’ve had a stomach bug since Saturday night. Apparently I just found out from their daycare teacher that its been going around for the past 2 weeks.

After throwing up last night in her crib, Neve complained of a tummy ache. It’s so strange when your child gets to that age that they can verbalize what is bothering them!

It’s so innovative!

She complained and let me tell you, the amount of bodily fluids that came out of her would make anyone grumpy.

Oh the joys of motherhood!

And of course, who is the one that had to clean it all up because the other has a broken hand? Why me of course!

Oh and guess who is also doing all the packing?

If you guessed me, go get yourself an ice cream cone!

My husband helped pack one night, and started taking random things and putting them in the trash pile. I looked at him and asked what the hell he was doing. Who says I wanted to get rid of that vase I bought from Daffy’s on sale?

He obviously makes a good point,.. something about  paying the shipping company per square foot, so whatever is unnecessary should stay behind… but you know dude, I need a moment. I need a moment to internalize and see how bonded I am to a certain thing before you hastily throw it in the trash bin.

I am having a problem parting with my pretty unnecessary things.

I am having a problem parting with the  only life that I have ever known…

I have been taking on a lot lately and I think I am cracking. Cracking  I tell you!

I am flooded with emotions regarding this move. I am leaving in less than 3 weeks. It’s so huge.

I havent let it all sink in yet.

I have worries too.

I worry that I wont fit in.

I worry that I will feel trapped.

I worry that I will be judged from everything to the cleanliness of my home to how I parent (by the insane amount of relatives that we have there).

I worry that I will feel as though I made a huge mistake.

I worry that I will never feel as though I am “home”

I worry that my husband wont be as attentive to the girls and our home and obligations because I will now have to share him with his entire family (and their needs and wants).

I worry that I wont find a good job.

I have so many worries, and yet the only thing that is keeping me going is my girls.

Just the thought that they will have a magical childhood because of where they are going to grow up (G-D willing) makes my heart  happy.

I grew up in a city and didn’t have a backyard. I dont consider my childhood “magical”.

My husband had acres of land to run around on and just enjoyed being a kid..surrounded by loving family.

 I want that for my girls.

Plus I think the financial pressure will be off us a bit (considering we don’t have to pay rent and utilities for a while) will lift a weight from my shoulders.

Maybe it will make me like my husband more? Or at the very least make us fight less?

Dunno.

All I know is that I am headed for a HUGE change and I need to hold on tight. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.

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16 thoughts on “Bumpy Ride

  1. pillarr1

    Anxiety is normal in this situation. But you are doing the right thing. It won’t be all roses (and what is?) but like you said the girls are most important and their upbringing will be great. It is nice to be around family, have a yard, friends, and new adventures. You will get a good job and life will be great. Are you still going to blog when you get there? I have only seen Israel from an airplane and it was beautiful. Take pictures so we can check it out. Good luck.

    Reply
    1. geminigirl64 Post author

      Israel is beautiful….. I know it will be ok. And yes – of course I will blog!!! I need to for my sanity!

      Reply
  2. KJ and the kids

    oh the acredge. That alone makes me super jealous. I think this could be a magical experience for all of you.
    Your house will be clean because you won’t have your girls around your ankles. They will be in the wide open and with family.
    your husband may be taken away, but again…so will your girls. and so will you.
    Life is going to be GREAT for you.
    Just you wait.

    Reply
  3. Samantha

    You are doing the right thing, for the right reasons! Don’t doubt yourself! Hold your breathe and jump! Yes, it IS going to be EXTREMELY hard. Yes, you are going to have a HUGE adjustment period. You are going to fight, but you are going to love. You will proabably see another side of your husband that you will love.

    I understand your plight…. I am moving to Korea in 2 months. I have small panic attacks when I think about not being near any family. But for MY family and MY children, this is the best move we could ever make. I am almost ready to jump!

    Reply
    1. geminigirl64 Post author

      Wow- you and I are in this together! Wish you had a blog so that we could join you in your journey as well! Sounds like quite the adventure!

      Reply
  4. Bella

    I have been reading (mostly quietly) since early in your pregnancy with the girls… It is so overwhelming, a major move like that, but it will be so wonderful once you are adjusted! Family support, space and freedom… We are happy in the NJ suburbs but as I child I spent 3 summers in Israel with cousins. They were the most magical months! We were so wild and free, sunburned and windblown, playing all day with such freedom and independence! I am hoping to bring my children to spend future summers with their second cousins and their Savta who now lives there.

    Just get through that move and you will be so happy!

    Reply
  5. rachel

    As you know, I moved to Israel (just for a bit over a year) a few years ago. It was the BEST thing that I ever did, and served as the catalyst for such positive changes in my life. I am so excited for you, and for B. You marriage will definitely be so much healthier once the financial strain is lessened…and the girls are going to be such beautiful little sabras! B’hatzlacha and much much mazel. And love, of course!

    Reply
  6. Kir

    I applaud you for how amazing you are…really. you are doing something hard and you’re doing it with grace (even if you are freaking out inside).

    for every door that closes , one opens..and as cliche as that sounds, it’s the truth! You will be happier and more settled, you’ll be in a place where you can breath and not worry so much and if your *Gorgeous* daughters and husband are happy, you will be too.

    the move will be hard, hard, hard, but once it’s done…and you’re there, then ..then…it will be better. I’m counting on you. LOL

    sending lots of love, good packing vibes and PATIENCE to you. We’re here for you….Promise!

    Reply
  7. Nearlydawn

    Hate it that the girls are so sick right now, that’s got to make everything a little tougher.

    Had an idea for you on the “pretty stuff”… Does your Mom have extra space at her place? If so, maybe you could take a few of the things you can’t/shouldn’t pack, but don’t want to part with over there. Then, you can retrieve them as you are able. Maybe you could have them shipped later, once you are more settled. It’s an idea, anyway…

    Hope all goes well for you guys (you mostly) getting packed, shipped, and settled in your new/old homeland. 🙂 I envy you the chance to start off on an adventure, but I don’t envy you the packing. 🙂

    Hugs.

    Reply
  8. ThePeachy1

    cracking is ok, they sell spackle cheap at home depot. ON the upside. Your doing it, your making it, and wow have you got gusto… hang in there

    Reply
  9. edenland

    Oh my most beautiful, magnificent GG. You wrote this post last week and I missed it …. mate, I want you to know that I have been thinking about you so much. Wondering how the packing and logistics of moving are going, wondering how apprehensive you surely must be.

    I think you are going on a most amazing adventure. I kind of can’t believe you are doing it – most people wouldn’t, you know that? Wouldn’t have the (hairy) balls that you do. I am so proud, and so impressed, at your decision. I feel deeply that you are doing the right thing – by your family, your girls, and especially yourself.

    It’s been quite amazing, watching you grow and learn and blossom, over the past few years. We really are friends. We “see” each other, yannow? (Insert violin music here).

    And even though you won’t be in NY when I go, and we won’t get to laugh together at BlogHer …… I know we’ll meet someday. (I’m planning on going to America once a year ….. maybe we can meet up, or I can just come to Israel. Once I find it on a map. I’m not joking – I’m THAT ignorant.)

    I love you, my dark haired beauty. I’m sending you soothing packing thoughts.

    Love,

    TOPCAT

    XOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOOXOXXOOXO

    Reply
  10. Rachel Inbar

    Even I can barely believe that I’ll soon be celebrating 25 years in Israel… Clearly there are a lot of advantages to living here (like Barcelona and London are less than 5 hours away… oops… I mean, the kids definitely have a freedom here that you’ll never have in the US… and being near family can be great – especially if they respect your ‘rules’ (I’d try to make sure to make these rules fairly clear…) – and if they don’t, there are plenty of places to move to that are a little bit farther away from family and can give you some privacy (I think that today there is a shift toward privacy, even from the more ‘chamula’ type families). If fitting in is important to you, try to get signed up for an ulpan and then make sure to follow through and go. It made a world of difference for me. Feel free to be in touch once you get here – even if only to have an English-speaker who you can call when everyone in the US is asleep 😉 I’d love to meet up with you someday – all I remember is that you’ll be farther north (I’m in Modiin).

    Good luck with the packing! (When’s the cast coming off?)
    Rachel
    08-971-6659

    Reply
  11. harriet

    Oh i have finally finished reading you archives – i love your blog thankyou!

    Seems as if we are moving at the same time however, i am moving from one area of england to another- not so stressfull!

    Good luck moving- i hope you continue to post after the move 🙂

    Reply
  12. Terri

    Oh, I love your blog and I’m SOOO excited for you!! It’s a very good thing you are doing. We will be moving to Turkey in a couple years for the same reasons, to raise our daughter near family..slow down life a bit..etc etc.. Even now I’m checking out things and thinking of if it’s something I want to keep and take with me, or not. Much luck on the move, be brave girl, you can do it! 🙂

    Reply

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