I’m sick and tired.
I am sick and tired of always being the one to lift everyone else up.
Who the fuck is around to lift me up?
I have been the sole bread-winner in my household for some time now and I am tired.
I am tired and fed up.
I REFUSE to allow more time to go by where all I do is work, not see my kids- all for what? For more fucking roadblocks in my husband’s education?
I can’t do it anymore.
So we decide on Israel and he has “doubts” he’s “scared”
Yes, we’ve been over this.
I lift him up daily only to have to give him the positive, rainbow- filled, speech EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.
I am tired.
My neck and shoulders are sore.
I feel like my insides are eating away at me.
I’m scared too, but who is there for me to tell me it will be OK?
Certainly NOT my husband. He’s too busy cowering in the corner, clutching on to his “doubts” and “scary scenarios”.
I tell him we can’t stay here- WE CAN’T PAY THE RENT DAMN IT. What the fuck else are we suppose to do?
If he wants to go to school and have a career- this is the only way to do it.
I can’t always be the strong one.
I just can’t.