My husband and I are going on a little trip to Ireland next month and we are super excited. It will be our second trip away from our girls since they were born. Most people feel torn about leaving their kids behind- not us. I definitely feel as though we NEED this trip.
We need to focus on us.
I have NEVER been to Europe- and not for a lack of yearning. Most of my trips entailed back and forths from New York to Israel. That my friends, costs A LOT of money. My father-in-law speculated that he MIGHT buy us all tickets for passover (to Israel). That’s over FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS- just for flights. Of course, a 10 hour flight with two toddlers… oh boy.
My FIL could technically just give us that money because he knows that can help us. But I know just how much he wants to see all of us, and wants us to have a nice trip away.
Have I mentioned how much I adore my father-in-law? He’s like the father I never had.
So back to our little trip next month.
As I was thinking about our trip away, another thought popped into my mind: What if GOD forbid something happened to the both of us? Who would take care of my girls?
My husband and I are lucky to have an abundance of AMAZING family members and friends that would step up to the plate. We are VERY fortunate.
But WHO exactly would I WANT to raise my girls?
My parents would DEFINITELY not be on that list. They didn’t do such a great job raising my brother and me, so add to that 30+ years and it’s a recipe for disaster.
We wouldn’t have My husband’s dad raise them either. He is a man with short patience and A BIG temper sometimes (of course, he also has a heart of gold). Since my husband’s mom is no longer with us, that would rule out his parents completely.
Then it hit me.
My Aunt Shlomit.
She is like the older sister that I never had. She is my mom’s sister, and is completely different from her.
We are smiliar in many ways, and I always felt understood by her.
Shlomit is only about 12 years older than me, and I have looked up to her since I was a little girl. She is a stong woman with unmatched intelligence. Shlomit (who we call Shuli) is beautiful, funny and probably one of the best mother’s that I know. She will sit and help her kids for hours with their homework. She is a pillar of strength. She has 3 sons, and always wanted a daughter. Her second son was an IVF baby, and she was the one who pretty much was my shoulder when I was TTC.
This is a woman who decided to go to college at the age of 36 (with 3 young sons at home), and is now completing her Masters in English Education.
As a teen, I would often spend weekends with her while in Israel. She always made me feel welcomed and loved – especially when I was sometimes un-loveable as a teen (weren’t we all un- loveable back then?).
Shuli is an AMAZING gift giver. She really takes the time to think about her friends before she gets them something perfect. The way she wraps a present would put Martha Stewart to shame. I try to emulate that to this day.
Shlomit is also an AMAZING baker. If I lived at her house, I would probably weigh about 400 lbs.
Shuli’s husband is a gem as well. He is in so many ways like my husband. He is a handy man who can fix anything, and quite intelligent to bat. I remember watching him with his kids when they were little… always hugging and kissing them- he was never afraid to show his love for them. He had a wealth of patience for them- always playing games with them, talking them through their issues – always teaching.
They were always the perfect couple in my eyes. Funny enough, my husband and I are very similar to them- and yet…we are far from a perfect couple.
Marriage takes a lot of work.
Anyway, getting back on track… I called Shuli the other day to ask her if she would be joining us in Ireland (which she had mentioned might happen). She can’t make it, since her niece is getting married that week (shotgun wedding of a pregnant 19-year-old).
Then I spoke to her about being the one that I would want to raise my kids in case something would GOD FORBID happen to us.
The first thing she did was SCREAM at me for talking about such things. After that she said that she would be honored to raise them.
Of course, she also said that I need to have it in writing somewhere because my mom would probably fight her for custody and wouldn’t understand why I wouldn’t leave them with her.
I will do JUST that.
There is NO WAY that I would EVER want my kids to be raised by her. She is an amazing grandmother… which pretty much means she is lousy at discipline and controlling her words or emotions.
I would hope that my husband and I will be the ones to raise our girls…. but in case that’s not in the cards- I am glad to know there is someone out there who would make me proud.
Question: Who would you want to raise your kids and why?