The Hunchback of Notre Dame Aint Got Nothing on Me

So a few weeks back, I took my girls to a kid’s birthday party.

It was my best friend’s (Franny) nephew’s First Birthday Party. (You follow?)

We had a nice time, and you could tell that my girls were enjoying themselves (you know, when Soleil wasnt holding on to us for dear life when she saw the Curious George Costume someone was wearing).

Franny’s mother-in-law was there (as she is the grandmother) and usually, she is always very pleasant to me.

During my time at the party, she walked over to me and in front of EVERYONE said :“Why do you stand hunched over? You look like the hunchback of Notre Dame. Every time I see you carrying bags down the street, you are stooped over. Stand up straight”

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The first thought that popped into my head was, if she sees me carrying bags down the street, why isnt she helping me ?

Secondly, I was pretty embarrassed that she said that out loud in front of everyone. She could have taken me aside if it was really bothering her. I am all for constructive criticism.

Now mind you, she is not an old little lady. She is about 50.

Her 23-year-old daughter then looked at me and said “I have to live with that”, while Franny was pissed that her MIL would day such a thing to me.

The truth is, I may need to walk a little bit more upright, but that’s not neither here nor there. I am a D* Cup and sometimes it’s hard to lug those suckers around all day! You cant blame me for needing to rest my shoulders people!

I started thinking what it would be like to have a MIL.

My MIL died when my husband was 10 years old, and although his father remarried, it was never like a Stepmother. She is more like his dad’s wife. Never involved in anything.

Everyone who has a MIL from hell always tells me that I’m lucky to not have one. I guess I can’t truly form an opinion on that either way.

From all the stories that I hear, my MIL was a saint. But then again, when someone dies young- they sort of immediately become saint-like.

Franny’s MIL seems to be the stuff legends are made from.

For example, Franny had asked her MIL for a recipe that her husband loves. The MIL was reluctant to give it to her, always “forgetting” to write it down. She finally did, and Franny was excited. She went ahead and made the dish that night, and when her husband bit into it, he looked at Franny and said that it was nowhere near his mom’s. Franny was confused.

A few weeks later, she found her MIL’s recipe book. Turns out, she gave Franny a recipe, but it was IN NO WAY close to the one she gave her. Her MIL omitted ingredients, added cooking time, etc. She was sabotaging her, so that her son would always come home for that dish!

I’m sorry, but that’s a bit insane if you ask me.

 I know that mothers are protective of their sons in a different way than they are their daughters. I mean, maybe they feel like they are “The” woman in their lives, and when a wife comes along, she kind of takes that spot from her. It’s sad that it has to be a competition!

I only have daughters, not sure if I will ever have a son- but I do know that if I will, I definitely wont intimidate his wife, or give her a wrong recipe! At the end of the day, if you get along with your son’s wife- it’s all the better for you, wouldnt you say? You get to spend more time with everyone, less fighting, more harmony.

Am I wrong?

Please Dish: What’s your mother-in-law horror story??

 *PS* – Don’t forget to enter my contest below! If you live in NYC or the surrounding areas, enter for your chance to win tickets to see Cirque Du Soleil!! Contest Ends 11/28 11PM EST!!*

 

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16 thoughts on “The Hunchback of Notre Dame Aint Got Nothing on Me

  1. Sugar & Ice

    I have a lot of mother in law horror stories, but they never sound quite as bad as they were in the moment they happened. She’s just not a very understanding person, and she wants everything done her way…if she doesn’t get it, then she gets evil. With that said, I’m still glad to her have her around…she loves the girls dearly and is a great grandma.

    Reply
  2. edenland

    I win worst MIL, hands down.

    Ready?

    Mine got busted driving drunk last year ….. with a big bag of POT IN HER CAR BOOT.

    Now my sisters always ask me how “Bong Nana” is going.

    Reply
  3. Jen-Jen

    Both of my inlaws were less than desireable. I was made to feel less than with them. I never felt like a part of the family. Then my house burned down in the middle of the night. If we would have been home we would have died. My father in-law became an awesome dad. My mother in-law was diagnosed with cancer sometime later. I would drop everything to take her to dr appts and was her advocate. She finally sees me as more than her sons wife.

    Reply
  4. liz

    here is one for you…

    my MIL and i have had a very close relationship for the past 8 years… i have been with my husband almost 10. i was closer to her than my own mother.

    after my sis in law and i had daughters 2 months apart things changed…she was different to myself, and my son… after “neglecting my daughter for the first year of her life” I finally said something when she said that she wouldn’t attend my daughters 1st birthday party…with no reason at all. (she threw my neices first bithday party) i told her that she needed to give my children equal attention, or no attention at all. (she literally wouldn’t even hold my daughter).

    long story short…after my husband finally stood up to her, she wrote him 8 PAGES bashing me!! how i (a stay at home mom, who watches 2 additonal children in my home 45 hours a week) force him to go to work every day, unwilling to work myself (hello!! what do i do all day), about me doing things to spite her, it was all petty stuff, down to the fact that she is upset that i spend to much on my sons shoes!!

    neither my husband nor i could have seen this coming!! we were stunned! needless to say she went from the dream MIL, to the nightmare!! i still don’t know exactly happened, but what can you do

    Reply
  5. itsallgood18

    I am lucky not to have a MIL like Franny, who is rude and naggy. But to me, the whole passive aggressive thing is worse…and that is what I have. She is nice, but so needy that when she does something to “help”, it ends up taking so much energy out of you. I have blogged about my adventures with her, but this is a funny one: We got married on a Sunday, so she came in on a Tuesday. We had a ton of people to follow from Friday night on, so we were doing a lot of baking. She brought bundt cake pans and was spending her days in the HOTEL kitchen making cakes, (despite me letting her know we had enough people helping) so that she could put the cakes out with little signs saying, “lovingly made by _______” and then she spent the rest of the week moaning about her back, and how it ached from baking.

    Reply
  6. heather...

    UM where do I start? You’ve heard the doozies, and my husband’s blog is full of examples, but the one I always pull out when I need a good example – my mother in law threatened to sue me.

    Eden’s Bong Nana sounds kind of awesome!

    Reply
  7. Gail

    I was 19 when I first started dating my husband, who is the oldest and by far the closest to his mother. There were definitely apron strings that needed to be cut. One night, a few years after we started dating, her and I went to her niece’s bachlorette party. I got WASTED and began telling her whole family (who thinks she is a saint) how she hated me and I never did anything good enough. It was bad. People were walking away from me whenever I started talking. The next day, the fallout began. She wanted to confront me, and my future husband stood up to her for the first time, telling her that she had better get used to me because I was going to be around for a long time. A couple more years of awkwardness ensued.
    Around the time we got engaged, I think she finally realized that I was going to give her grandchildren. We would be the first. She stopped judging me, and allowed me to be who I was without any snarky comments or looks. We now have the BEST relationship. My only hang-up is sometimes I wonder if she has a closer bond with my daughter than I do! I count my blessings every day that she is as wonderful as she is. Trust me…there are some good MILs out there, and when/if you do become one, I am sure you’d be kind and gracious, just like you’d want yours to be. I’m sure going to try.

    Reply
  8. Kirsten

    I can’t complain too much about my MIL…it still takes some time for her to warm up to anyone outside her immediate family but I now just realize that is who she is and it’s not going to change. I’ve also realized how much her actions have impacted my husband as they have very similar personalities.
    The one thing she does that drives me crazy (and luckily it doesn’t happen too often) is make jabs at me for my non-existent butt. I mean, my own mom wouldn’t even do that. She’s even started saying things about my girls’ butts because they seem to be taking after me (but how can you tell at 2 years old?!?!). I think she forgets the fact that her son also has no ass so they were doomed from the get-go!!
    She also made a jab about my boobs one time that I will never forget. Her father had passed away so we were all getting ready for the funeral. I was 18 and frustrated because my bra straps kept showing under my dress. She told me “you really don’t even need to wear a bra” in front of my husband and it really stung. I was VERY insecure about my bra size, which was AA and that just added to the humiliation.
    She’s kept her mouth shut about them ever since I fixed that issue!!!

    Reply
    1. geminigirl64 Post author

      I always joke about my flat ass. My hsuband has a nice round tush. S go tmy pancake ass, and N got my husband’s!!! Haha

      Reply
  9. amy d

    OMG!! That story about the recipe was totally an “Everyone Loves Raymond” episode!! I’m not even kidding. Debora found out that her MIL had changed the label on a specific herb making the dish taste terrible! That’s totally crazy that this happened to your friend in real life!!

    I currently live AND WORK with my MIL. She aggrevates the living shit out of me, but all in all she’s a nice person and she doesn’t come between me and my husband. That’s not to say I don’t want to smack her every now and then though.

    Reply
    1. geminigirl64 Post author

      I know AMY! I even saw that episode! When my friend told me that it happened, I told her it was on an episode of Everyone Loves Raymond.

      Reply
  10. cindy w

    My MIL is great now, because she’s (finally) on medication, and it seemed like she got a lot better after our daughter was born and she officially became “Grandma.” I also think it helps that she lives in another country (UK), so we only see her a couple of times a year at the most.

    But, when Dave & I first got married? Hoo boy.
    Exhibit A: She threw a hissy fit at our wedding reception & stormed out because her boyfriend got cut off at the bar (which, dude, he FELL DOWN twice, he was drunk off his ass, the bartender had no choice but to cut him off).

    Exhibit B: About a week later, she burst into tears in the middle of a crowded restaurant because “now that Dave is all happy & settled, he doesn’t need me anymore!!” Seriously. So, (1) I’m the b*tch who stole your son away from you. Um, oops? Sorry! And (2) the man was 34 freaking years old at the time, he hadn’t lived in the same house as his mother for almost 20 years, so why the big epiphany all of a sudden? So, yes. Kee-razy.

    And if it helps, the woman who told you to stand up straight? You should’ve told her that if it bothered her so much, you’d be happy to take a contribution for your future breast reduction surgery, which is SURE to improve your posture. Gah. What a beast.

    Reply
  11. Kir

    Oh I have stories, my MIL is an old Croatian Catholic. I am NOT John’s first wife…capice? LOL

    at first, she hated me thinking I broke up his marriage, then she tolerated me, but made John (at 34 yrs old) move back into their house until we married (um, yeah) and then when we realized that time, money and counseling might not get him an annulment in time, we decided to NOT get married in a church ..she said she wouldn’t come…(she ended up not coming but because by then My FIL was in the last stages of Pancreatic cancer and he was too ill and she needed to stay with him…so payback sometimes is a bit*ch) it was only during/after my FILs illness and his death three months after we married that she finally accepted me.
    except for IVF, as Catholics (the POPE is against IVF so so is she) and there are people in John’s family that we are still not allowed to tell how we got PG. Unbelievable. But True.

    She also lately, yells at the boys a lot and tells us in Croatian that they are bold and we should keeping a better eye on them..etc…I let it roll right off me, because seriously I have ENOUGH SH*T to do..right? 🙂

    I also have a D Cup and carrying, bags for twins and these babies…well I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND sweetie. You are in now way the Hunchback. 🙂

    Reply

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