You and I haven’t always had the best relationship, yes I know. It started when I was a little girl and realized that maybe I had a little bit too much body hair for a girl my age. I know my Syrian background is to blame as Syrian winters are very cold, and so my people evolved and were born covered in hair. But I was born in New York in 1981, so there was no real need to have a unibrow at 8 years old.
Then at the age of 10 (one mere month before I turned 11) you decided to bestow me with a visit from Aunt Flo. I was one of the first girls in my 5th grade class to receive this visit and let me just tell you- I was not happy about it one bit.
I didn’t care about the bleeding, the thing that got me the most was THE PAIN. Even today at the age of 28, I suffer from monthly cramps (even as I sit and type this). I am no mathematician, but that makes it about 18 years now.
Now, putting aside the fact that you have always had a way of packing on the pounds without even trying (ironically leaving me with an ass as flat as a pancake)-I would like to focus on my breasts.
Once I got my period, that was it. The breasts showed up as if overnight. And not only did I sprout them, they were pretty much a C cup in the 7th grade. Luckily for me, I was in an all-girl school, so I didn’t get any unwanted attention. Of course, even if I was in a coed school, my breasts would not have deflected from the fact that I had a unibrow and leg hair that could rival my grandfather’s.
When I was 22 years old, I found out that I had a cyst as large as a grapefruit in my uterus. Because of this, I had to have my right fallopian tube removed. This caused me great fear as I wasn’t yet married and had never had a child before. I took the growth as a sign of a lack of me being in tune with you. I decided to treat you right body, and began watching what I ate. To spoil you, I decided to sprinkle in some exercise and I even lost 30 lbs!
You looked sooo hot!
But body, you did me wrong 8 months later. I treated you so well, and yet another cyst appeared, this time taking with it my right ovary.
At that point I was pissed off at you. I was 23, and yet I only had one remaining functioning ovary and fallopian tube.. or so I thought.
When I got married at 24, we started trying for a baby right away. The doctors said that I shouldn’t worry about anything since I still had one remaining side, “All it takes is one”….so they thought..
And yet, a year later I was told that scar tissue from my past surgeries were causing infertility as it was acting as a barrier between sperm and egg.
Body, you failed me again.
After a round of IVF I became pregnant with twins. For once, you made me proud. Not only were you carrying a baby- you were carrying two babies you show off!
To top it all off, you were amazing- no morning sickness! What a body you were. I was so proud to call you mine (random chin hair and all).
That is until I was 6 months pregnant and you went into pre- term labor.
I was told I would deliver the girls at 25 weeks.
I prayed and prayed that I wouldn’t. I even bargained with G-D.
THERE WAS NO WAY YOU WERE GOING TO F*CK ME OVER THIS TIME BODY.
I mean I could forgive you for the body hair, for the menstrual cramps and for the cysts.. but in NO WAY was I going to forgive you for being the reason I would lose my girls. The ones I fought so hard for.
And you surprised me body.
You held on for an added 5 weeks when everyone doubted you. Each day you let those babies reside in your warm walls, you increased their viability.
So yes, at 30 weeks I delivered my 3.4 lb & 3.10 lb babies. But they were alive and did well. And I thanked you and loved you and was in awe of you. You didn’t listen to those damn doctors when they said you couldn’t hold out for those extra weeks.
So no, you didn’t produce enough breast milk to feed the girls (regardless of how much pumping I did)- but you still tried. And here I am 2 years later. I have twin daughters who amaze me every day. And even though I had cursed you so often for failing me body, the one time I needed you the most- you showed me what you had.
And for that I am forever grateful.
P.S Do you think you could do without the random chin hair? I mean really..?