Happy Birthday to Me

I turn 28 today.

Another year older.

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Moi

More cake to eat.

Another birthday candle to make a wish on.

I’ve sort of reclaimed myself this past year.

Last July, a month after I turned 27, I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize myself.

I was battling PPD/PTSD and was drowning in unhappiness, even though I was finally a mother just like I wanted.

I wasn’t wearing make up, wasn’t getting my hair did like I used to.

I started therapy in July, and slowly I started to heal.

 I realized that I didn’t need to feel the way I was feeling.

I didn’t need to be a prisoner to my pathetic-ness.

I realized that years of being fucked up would not change with the birth of children (on the contrary, It would bring it out to the millionth degree.)

This year, I finally know my self worth.

 I know that- you know what?

 not everything is my fault, not everything in life is perfect.

  Not everything turns out the way you planned.

In my 27th year I :

Still  have no money in my savings account (re: none) ;  I still don’t have a job that I love; I still have not lost all the baby(ies) weight yet (thank you very much);  I am still no longer getting hit on by good looking men ; No, I still do not enjoy being Suzy Homemaker….

BUT

Yes, I have laughed; Yes, I have danced on a stage in a drunken stupor (holiday party); Yes I have cried; Yes, I have thrown food at my mother; Yes, I have kissed my children and grabbed their little fatty behinds;Yes, I have witnessed the kindness of strangers holding up two amazingly strong people who had just lost a child;Yes I have met gone with my gut; Yes I have enjoyed my family.

 

I am a strong woman. A woman who FINALLY knows her self worth. It only took 28 years.

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I am also quite the character

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13 thoughts on “Happy Birthday to Me

  1. pillarr1

    Happy Birthday Girl!!!!! I am so glad you are feeling better. Yes, not everything in life is perfect. But we can make a good life for ourselves and those around us if we try try try. And you did it!! Just refuse to be unhappy and don’t sweat the small stuff. Remember, you have your children and your husband. There are so many who don’t and would do anything to have what you have. Enjoy your day and eat lots of cake!

    Reply
  2. Mollie

    Happy Birthday! Hope you have a great day! Get out and do something fun! I went through PPD about 9 years ago, and it’s no fun. I never had the benefit of therapy, but I’m sure it would have helped. I’m glad you’re better. Enjoy your babies because they grow up way too fast.

    Reply
  3. vixensden

    Happy Birthday. Sounds like this last year you have given yourself the greatest gift ever: The gift of knowing yourself and accepting you goodness.

    I was 28 last year too. And the year before that. In fact, I may have had my 16th 28th birthday last January. But its all good.

    Have a wonderful, wonderful day! You are special and we all know it, glad you do too.

    Reply
  4. Amanda/Baby A

    Happy Birthday!! I’m so happy to hear the place you’re in is so much better than the place you were in before. Have a fantastic birthday day and the best year yet.

    Reply
  5. Elly

    Oh – Happy Birthday! I hope you have a brilliant day, filled with much love and cake 🙂 It sounds like you’ve come so far in the last year – good for you!

    Reply
  6. eden

    You are so awesome Maya, I freakin’ love you. It’s been an honour, watching you change and grow over the past two years.

    And you are YOUNG, I tell you!! And you must LISTEN to me because I am your ELDER HAHAHHA.

    Also, I hope you rocked the place down on your birthday. Where did you go?

    Also, I am halfway through my guest post, it’s about how I am a whore for America 😉

    Reply

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