A look back

Today I look back a year …..

This was posted October 22nd, 2007 while I was on hospital bedrest:


Another day in the hospital (day 15).

The funniest/ scariest thing happened this morning.

Around 6am a nurse came into my room with a baby in it’s little rolling cart. Since she didn’t turn on the light, my room was completely dark. I was sleeping but I arose when she came in. I looked at the nurse and said that although the child was cute- it wasn’t my baby. She said “Well how do you know- it’s dark in here?” I answered that since I haven’t given birth yet she couldn’t possibly be mine. She said “Oh” and walked out with the baby cart.

OK now let me ask you this- if I had given birth to one baby and they would have brought that child into my room in the dark, how could I have known it was mine? Imagine I would have started breastfeeding?

So that was the scary part of it all.

Seeing that cute little baby made me sentimental but also jealous. I’m jealous of the women in the rooms by me that have their beautiful babies in their arms. I’m jealous that everything is now behind them and they have those crying little angels. Everything feels so up in the air with me. I don’t know when my babies will come into this world, I don’t know if they are healthy or not. So many questions. So many worries.

On a brighter note, I had my growth sonogram today.

Baby A (lazy baby like her daddy) weighs 2.3 pounds.

Baby B (mover and shaker like mommy) weighs in at 2.7 pounds.

Baby A seems more passive than her sister already- she’s even getting less food apparently. Of course I know that being passive doesn’t have anything to do with weight, but I’m not surprised.

The fluid in both are good and nothing has changed in my cervix. Again, no news is good news.

I’m now 27weeks and 3 days. I am blessed that I got here.

4 thoughts on “A look back

  1. KJ and the kids

    WOW ! That is scary. I think you would have known the second they handed the baby to you if it was yours or not. You would have.

    Great post. I like looking back, now that you are here and everyone is happy and healthy.

  2. kerry

    I started reading your blog just after the girls were born so I don’t remember this post.
    I know exactly how you were feeling cause I went through the same thing.
    Now you have beautiful healthy daughters and all your worrying was not needed.

    Aren’t they supposed to check hospital bracelets or something? The first time I saw M&J after sleeping a bit after they were born my family had already arrived and were holding the babies. Someone handed me one and said it was Madison. I really thought it was Jackson but what did I know? I had only seen them for a short period the night before. About an hour later someone said “OH! That IS Jackson!” So for an hour I had my DIFFERENT sex twins mixed up. HAHA

  3. topcat

    I REMEMBER THIS POST!!!!! I’ve never forgotten it … imagine if you DID have a baby and you breastfed the one that was handed to you??!! It must happen all the time, scary.

    My God you have had such an enormous year, for somebody so YOUNG. (And hot. With glossy hair that I always covet).

    Huge, Maya. You have come through it beautifully. I’ve only started to feel like a “real” mother now … to my six year old, that is!!!!

    Love you mate XOXOXOXXO

  4. Helene

    Wow, that is super scary to think that nurse was just wandering the halls having no clue who that baby belonged to!!!!

    I can totally relate to those feelings you were having of jealousy of the other wome who had already given birth in the very next room, holding their babies safely in their arms. I was in the same position as you in the hospital on bedrest and I was just happy to get through each and every hour without anything major happening! I always told my husband that I would not be completely happy and at peace until those babies were safely in my arms, healthy and thriving. People used to say to me “just be happy you’re pregnant…enjoy it” but until you’ve experienced infertility and loss after loss, the only thing that counts is holding a living, breathing, precious newborn (or two, in our cases!!)


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