Last night while I was waiting for the bus, I saw a woman smoking. I don’t usually notice these things, but unfortunately this woman was 8 months pregnant.
I really do not get it.
I just don’t.
She seemed disheveled. I mean come on, you are growing a human being inside of you. Do what you want to yourself, but wait until that child is out of you. I felt bad for drinking one cup of coffee every morning while I was pregnant!
The vibe I got was that this woman just truly didn’t care about anything. I felt bad for her, but worse for her baby. It just kills me when I see this, because there are SO many women out there who would love to get pregnant and take care of their bodies and their babies, and then there are those women who smoke during pregnancy.
GD is funny.
On a separate note, I had a dream about my grandmother a few night ago. She was on line, waiting to go to heaven and she was scared. I told her not to be.
Now in Judaism, we believe that a soul doesn’t truly leave this earth until a year after a persons death.
Then last night I dreamt that she looked beautiful and was wearing white. She gave me a hug. I truly believe that it was her in my dream, not just something my brain conjured up. It would def be like her to come to us in dreams.
But then the second half of my dream?
Madonn.a wanted me to audition as a back up dancer for her.
Now mind you, I cant dance to save my life.
But I put on the leggings and busted a move. She liked my dancing!
Apparently I can now spot them from a mile away. I was on the salad line at the cafeteria in my office building an hour ago and there was a woman with a stroller in front of me. I looked in, and saw a tiny baby. I started a conversation with the mother. She said her daughter was 4 weeks premature (which in my book isn’t so bad) and instead of being born on 4/15, she was born on 3/14. So the baby was like a 2 week old. Of course I started to recount my tales of the NICU (which she had as well).
But seeing that tiny baby brought back so many memories. It just makes me realize just how big my girls have gotten (THANK GD). They are not those tiny fragile little things anymore. I kind of miss having a newborn (although I am 3 days late with my period). Ha- imagine getting pregnant naturally right after IVF?
That happened to my aunt. She had one baby naturally, than an ivf baby, and got pregnant with her third son 3 months later. But I doubt I’m pregnant, as I didn’t engage in any sexual ac.ts last month (I was Way too exhausted!). At least I don’t think so. That would be a funny conversation to have with the boss.
Anyway, I def feel like aunt flo will be coming to town (feel it as we speak) so I will keep you informed.
But a part of me feels like I would like to have another one soon, although my husband is against it. Every time the girls cry and I cant soothe them (and become fed up) he says to me “So, you really want to add another to this equation?” But I kind of feel like, if you’re already in baby mode, just go for it. It’s not like we’re not changing poopy diapers, and have two of everything. I think its great to be young parents. And who knows if I will be able to conceive later on down the road when we are “Ready” again.
Anyway my mother tried to “make up” with me today.
As I was handing Neve over to my mother this morning so that she could feed her, Neve looked at me and smiled. My mom said to her ” You know who your mommy is! Do you love your mommy?” then my mother leaned over and said “I love mommy too” and gave me a kiss. Sorry, not buying it for the millionth time lady.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
I have the March for Babies walk on Sunday. I am very excited. I have never felt compelled to do a walk before, but this is one that i MUST do. I will be walking with my husband and daughters. I wish I would have collected donations sooner. I just hate putting my co-workers/ friends on the spot.
BTW- After getting up and going to the bathroom during this post- I can confirm that I am NOT pregnant (so put your banners and confetti away)