T- Is for Type

Let me ask you ladies that are married or taken.

Was your significant other your “type”?

Everyone has a type. Either in looks or in personality.

For example:

I was always attracted to men who were really tall (6″4) and were fair skinned. My first boyfriend, the one who was my “first love”, was 6″4, blue eyes, light skin, blond hair. It seems you are always attracted to what you are not. He was also not a skinny guy, he had a nice built, I liked that he wasn’t scrawny- it made me feel small and dainty. I was also interested in men who were well read, all American- pretty boy. If he was artsy, it totally added points.

Totally my type:

I ended up marrying my husband- who was none of those things.

He is 6″0, weighed about 150 pounds (totally skinny), is much darker skinned than I am, and is a foreigner. He didn’t graduate high school since he was a rebel. I actually believed he dropped out because his mom died when he was 10, and he didn’t have any parental control after her death. He did what he wanted, when he wanted.

So on paper, he was absolutely NOT what I wanted.

I mean, I had a crush on him when I was a young girl. He was dark and brooding. I thought that if I could only have his heart, his walls would come down, and he could share his inner world with me. Isn’t that what all pre-teens want in their secret crush?

My first love, was a dic*k. I had a pregnancy scare and he bounced. Ha- little did I know that to get pg I would have to endure ivf. Anywho… he left me in shambles. He “broke” me. He was quite selfish. After that relationship ended I promised myself to never put up with jerks again.

Along came my husband.

I was on a mini spring break in Israel in April 2002. I ran into him, we hung out.. and it was great. I knew that there was something special there so I returned that summer.

The thing that made me fall for him? We were thirsty, and he took the bottle of water, and poured my glass first. That was it. I was hooked. He thought of me, before himself. This was the kind of guy I wanted- against type and all.

Do I regret this: hell no.

He is amazing (when he wants to be). He is thoughtful, a hard worker and loves to learn. He got his as*s to school at the age of 27 where he is taking classes with 18 yr olds. He works full time, and goes to school full time. He is a great father to our daughters and takes care of them with patience and love. He has gotten me through tough times… ivf, pregnancy, hospital bed rest, prematurity, and new parenthood. He has calmed my fears.

When we were TTC, and I would get my monthly flow, he would calm me and say that it would happen when it is supposed to.

When we were going through IVF, he injected me with the medications daily.

While on Hospital bed rest, he would come visit me every single day. He would call me and ask what I needed and would run to my bedside. He would bring me milkshakes every day when I was too nauseous to eat, but knew that I needed the extra calories just in case the girls were preemies and the bigger they were, the better they would do.

He has held my hand when I could not stop crying at the sight of my two 3 lb daughters with their breathing devices and tubes. He held me as I watched my daughter turn blue and stop breathing in the NICU, while all the nurses ran to her side to revive her.

He has been my rock, my best friend and my soul mate. He is definitely my type.

What made you choose your partners, if they weren’t exactly what you had originally wanted?

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9 thoughts on “T- Is for Type

  1. Furrow

    Yeah, B was more my type than most of the guys I had dated before him: quiet, bookish, funny, not too skinny, not clingy, into ghost stories and the like.

    Reply
  2. Rachel Inbar

    After 13 years of marriage to someone who was pretty much my opposite, I married Ohad because we’re on the same wavelength. We think in similar, complementary ways and are each other’s best friends. There’s so much more – too much to write in a comment 🙂

    Reply
  3. Hopeful Mother

    I had crushes on people who were not my type, growing up.

    But I married someone who is totally my type, and I think we’ve become even more similar as our marriage has grown!

    Reply
  4. Chas

    I never really had a type. I guess if I had to say, then my type was a guy who was at least a little taller than me, wasn’t overweight, was honest and trustworthy, and who has the same core beliefs and morals as me. They never had to have certain hair color, skin color, hobbies, etc.

    Reply
  5. Topcat

    Oooh, what a great post.

    When I met Mr TC, he was overweight and a bit dorky. (I joke that I made him cool – ha)

    But he was tough and had a heart of gold. It’s only in the last few years that I see we make a great team together. He’s the only guy I’ve never cheated on. That’s gotta count for something.

    Your hubby sounds LOVELY. So cute about the water poured first!

    (BTW, can’t believe that about your dad!! Good for him on getting thru it) xo

    Reply
  6. Kerry Lynn

    well, who can beat that??

    Looks wise chris is not my type at all! we always joke about that.
    but Your description of what he has helped you through could have been written by me (expect the nicu stuff although he had to deal with my severe PPD). Looks like we got keepers 🙂

    Reply
  7. K J and the kids

    I’m so glad that your husband has been there for you and is exactly what you need.

    Looks have never been something that I search for. I mean, I seem to be attracted to the person for their caring, sensitive, giving, selves.
    Of course you have to be attracted to them, but it’s not what attracts me to them.
    J is ABSOLUTELY wonderful and is everything I’ve ever needed whether I knew it at the time or not.

    Reply
  8. Keeping The Faith

    I’d say my husband is the opposite of me in many ways. I would say he’s my type in some ways and not in others. To be specific I generally like the strong silent types that are loyal and reliable. (good guys) This description fits my husband exactly and would describe my ex’s for the most part. My current husbands intelligence level(& career) is much higher than my ex’s. He’s my solid rock that I can always count on. I’ve never been attracted to the bad boy or the loud mouthed obnoxious ones.

    I’m the anxious one that worries…I have endless energy that I never know what to do with. I am always doing three things at once and its hard for me to sit still. He’s the calm in my storm.

    But…I’m extremely athletic and always have been. I have always picked “good guys” that could keep up w/ my tennis, running, hiking and long backpacking trips. My husband is not fit. He tries for me but he needs to lose about 50 pounds and I am considered about 10 underweight so we are very opposite on that matter. Does it bother me…not really. I’d take a wonderful life partner that is there for me over a running partner any day… and I have never come close to loving anyone the way I love my husband.

    Funny though b/c my husband has always dated skinny brunettes. 🙂

    This was a fun post to think about and to respond to.

    -Faith

    Reply
  9. Ali

    Ooh, great post! And your husband sounds amazing – lucky girl.

    My husband is exactly my type. Even now after we’ve been married for almost 7 years, almost the only guys I would notice on the street look like him.
    I like dark hair, darkish eyes, and an olivey skin tone. I also like them to be taller than me (5 inches or more) and I don’t like skinny boys either.
    I never, ever see the blond haired, blue eyed, perfect haired Abercrombie boys as hot for some reason.
    My husband is also very compassionate (he’s a nurse) and is quite a bit more calm than I am. While I’m having a meltdown or yelling and cursing about something he just lets me go, then reels me in when I’m at my breaking point.
    Love that man.

    Reply

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