Let me ask you ladies that are married or taken.
Was your significant other your “type”?
Everyone has a type. Either in looks or in personality.
I was always attracted to men who were really tall (6″4) and were fair skinned. My first boyfriend, the one who was my “first love”, was 6″4, blue eyes, light skin, blond hair. It seems you are always attracted to what you are not. He was also not a skinny guy, he had a nice built, I liked that he wasn’t scrawny- it made me feel small and dainty. I was also interested in men who were well read, all American- pretty boy. If he was artsy, it totally added points.
Totally my type:
I ended up marrying my husband- who was none of those things.
He is 6″0, weighed about 150 pounds (totally skinny), is much darker skinned than I am, and is a foreigner. He didn’t graduate high school since he was a rebel. I actually believed he dropped out because his mom died when he was 10, and he didn’t have any parental control after her death. He did what he wanted, when he wanted.
So on paper, he was absolutely NOT what I wanted.
I mean, I had a crush on him when I was a young girl. He was dark and brooding. I thought that if I could only have his heart, his walls would come down, and he could share his inner world with me. Isn’t that what all pre-teens want in their secret crush?
My first love, was a dic*k. I had a pregnancy scare and he bounced. Ha- little did I know that to get pg I would have to endure ivf. Anywho… he left me in shambles. He “broke” me. He was quite selfish. After that relationship ended I promised myself to never put up with jerks again.
Along came my husband.
I was on a mini spring break in Israel in April 2002. I ran into him, we hung out.. and it was great. I knew that there was something special there so I returned that summer.
The thing that made me fall for him? We were thirsty, and he took the bottle of water, and poured my glass first. That was it. I was hooked. He thought of me, before himself. This was the kind of guy I wanted- against type and all.
Do I regret this: hell no.
He is amazing (when he wants to be). He is thoughtful, a hard worker and loves to learn. He got his as*s to school at the age of 27 where he is taking classes with 18 yr olds. He works full time, and goes to school full time. He is a great father to our daughters and takes care of them with patience and love. He has gotten me through tough times… ivf, pregnancy, hospital bed rest, prematurity, and new parenthood. He has calmed my fears.
When we were TTC, and I would get my monthly flow, he would calm me and say that it would happen when it is supposed to.
When we were going through IVF, he injected me with the medications daily.
While on Hospital bed rest, he would come visit me every single day. He would call me and ask what I needed and would run to my bedside. He would bring me milkshakes every day when I was too nauseous to eat, but knew that I needed the extra calories just in case the girls were preemies and the bigger they were, the better they would do.
He has held my hand when I could not stop crying at the sight of my two 3 lb daughters with their breathing devices and tubes. He held me as I watched my daughter turn blue and stop breathing in the NICU, while all the nurses ran to her side to revive her.
He has been my rock, my best friend and my soul mate. He is definitely my type.
What made you choose your partners, if they weren’t exactly what you had originally wanted?