F- Is for Four months going on Five Months

Dear Soleil & Neve,

Your 4th month is coming to a close. You will be 5 months in a few days. Where has the time gone? I cannot imagine what my life was like before your arrival. Sometimes when I’m at work, deep in calls and paperwork (forgetting that I have a life outside of the office), I remember that I have the two of you at home- waiting for me. Then I am reminded of just how lucky I am to have had you, and just how far you have come in your few short months.

You two would not take no for an answer. When the fertility clinic had told me they were transferring two embryos the day of the transfer, I was excited and nervous. Would any implant? What if they both did? You two, the Dynamic Duo, fought hard, and both wanted to be here. So you both implanted. You grew in my belly, causing me much heartburn and discomfort. Then, my body almost gave out at 25 weeks- but you both kept of fighting, you kept on trucking.. holding out for over 5 more weeks (even despite my water breaking 9 days before you were born).

Then you kept fighting in the NICU.


you are my sunshine. You brighten my day. I was originally worried about you since you didn’t make any eye contact with us for many months when you came home, worried that it may have been a permanent situation. But your gaze today amaze me. Your smiles light up my day. You smile ALL the time and laugh. When you smile- it’s this big smile, coming from the soul. Your smile leads me to smile. My face hurts from smiling. You have now started babbling even more so. You love your play mat. Whenever I put you under it, you get so excited and start to talk to the dangling objects above you. You still like to talk to us at 3am.

-You weigh 15 pounds

-Wear a size 2 diaper (but once this package is done we are moving you on to size 3)

-You started eating solids!!!!! You love peas and eat up the jar.

-You lost all your hair in March but have since started growing more.

-You love to watch TV

-You are very laid back. When I put you in the bathtub, you don’t cry. It shocks you, you give it a second to sink in to see if you like it, then you relax and pee into the tub.


My mini-me. Sometimes I wonder if you’re happy. You don’t smile so much, and you cry a lot. You have an old soul. I sense it. I feel it. Your eyes have so much knowledge behind them. You look at things as if you know what they are, like you’ve been here before. You are very mobile already. You have good motor control and hold your head up well.

-You weigh 15.4 pounds

– Size 2 diapers

-You are not into solids yet, but I wont give up!

-You cry quite often and easily- with tears!

– When I put you in the tub, you cry instantly, then you enjoy it.

-You love to put your fist in your mouth- and try to get it all in.

– You would rather sit up than lay down. When we lay you down, you try to move your top half up (like doing sit ups) .

My girls, you have started sleeping more at night- which in turn is awesome since me and Daddy get more sleep now and are not walking zombies. When I am on the subway on my way back home from work, I anticipate seeing your little faces upon my arrival- like a girl in love about to see her beau. I adore you, and because having you in my life has made me feel euphoric-I am dreaming of having more children, and adding to our family.

I love you both very much.

Your Mommy-In-Progress


4 thoughts on “F- Is for Four months going on Five Months

  1. Kirsten

    You are so good about this…I have got to start taking better notes about my girls!! I’m starting Friday when they turn 9 months.
    It’s amazing how much they have grown…time is flying by, isn’t it? You are definitely getting to the point where you can finally stop and smell the roses (more sleep:YAY!!)
    They are gorgeous šŸ™‚

  2. Kerry Lynn

    That was beautiful.
    It sounds like everything is falling into place now.
    Congratulations on making it through double baby boot camp šŸ™‚

  3. Bryson

    Hey, this is Bryson, the writer of the Diet Dr(.) Pepper post the other day.

    It sounds like you have many blessings in your life. A childhood crush for life – and twins to share and appreciate – are things that not everyone gets to experience. I hope someday I get to enjoy things of that magnitude. In the meantime, I get my kicks out of trying to make others happy from my writing – thanks so much for taking a few minutes out of your (at least it sure sounds like) crazily busy schedule to say some nice words regarding my post. Continued luck in life, love, and motherhood.

    bryson turner


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