I cannot believe that I have been a mommy now for over a month. Although I still don’t really feel like one- I wonder when that kicks in. Since Neve is a preemie she doesn’t really make too much eye contact with me- she looks at everything but me. Well, actually she looks at me when I’m not looking, but averts her stare when I look back. She does this to both me and my husband. Maybe when she starts looking back at me I will be able to bond with her more.
Neve has been home now for over a week- and I think I’m doing well. I’m not as scared to be left alone with her. All the nurses said when Neve was released that it would be easier to take one baby home and than the other so that I can get into a routine. I don’t know how true that is- I think it would have been easier to have them both at once- because once you feel that you have a handle on one- another one is then added to the mix and it does get more complicated. At the same time, I do feel that my family is NOT complete until she is home. Its as if everything is still up in the air, and my mind is neither here nor there.
As for sleep- I sleep when she sleeps. My husband is a great help, but when he has work in the mornings, I let him sleep through the night (he works 3 days and is in school 3 days). His semester is over today and so this means he will be home 4 days a week until the end of January! I am so excited about having him here. He always seems to calm me down- he is the relaxed one out of us. I also know that so many people have raised children with nothing bad happening to them, so I need to just relax- but of course that is easier said than done (especially considering all that I have been through).
I have turned into a domestic. I have been cooking during the day when Neve sleeps and organizing the house. I want my children to grow up in a home where mommy cooks- but not because she has to- but because she WANTS to. I have a wonderful husband that also pitches in all the time. He knows that this is a partnership. When I do go back to work he too will start cooking- cant wait for that one!
I am taking an infant CPR class tomorrow. The hours suck (btwn 1-3pm) so I have to go alone. My husband will be at work, and my mom will watch neve. I would have postponed taking the class but the next one is on January 6th and I don’t want to wait that long. My mother and husband will go together on that day so that they learn what to do as well.
Oh- I had my baby shower over a week ago and let me tell you- it was nice. All my friends came and I got almost everything off my registry! My friends were very generous. Of course I did butt heads with the friend that threw the party because she refused to discuss the menu with me. This was bad because her menu consisted of food that I knew was not going to go over well. When I had suggested adding sushi (out of my pocket) she got very mad at me and said that she would be offended if I added that to the menu. I told her she shouldn’t be offended, but that I was giving people a choice- but she still had attitude. Meanwhile- many people were not fans of what she made, but instead devoured the sushi.
She also is quite the control freak and bitched constantly. She also made everyone VERY aware that she did everything. She did work hard though, but that still dosnt justify her bitchiness (she was bitchy at times to my friends!). I did put her in her place when she needed to be. Here are two pictures from the event. I am serously huge!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know, I know- I just had twins last month… but I still cant take looking at pictures of me now!
By the way, did I fail to mention that my upstairs neighbor has a piano right on top of my living room and randomly plays the same song every few hours? Oh- and that apparently he breaks out into song in the room right on top of my daughters nursery. Wait it gets better- he sings with a microphone!!! I am not sure if this man is retired or he does this for a living but I want to shoot myself. All he sings is “I left my heart in San Fransisco”. I wish he would go back to San Fransisco to find his heart and stay there.
And for reading my post- here is a beautiful pick of neve sleeping on her daddy and smiling.