where do I begin? I will try to relay as much as my brain can handle right now.
Monday night at around 10pm, I started getting stomach aches. I had just finished a sandwich, so I figured that was the cause. The nurse attached the Doppler to me and the machine didn’t read anything. We thought it was gas. That night I hardly slept due to the cramps so that morning at 5am I asked the nurse to attach the Doppler again. Still- the Doppler didn’t read anything!
I kept feeling like I needed to have a bowel movement, but was constipated. The pain was getting progressively worse, every few minutes, and the nurse didn’t know what to do because according to the machine, I wasn’t in labor. I started to yell to get the doctor.
Luckily for me, my favorite doctor was on call. He ran upstairs and put his hand on my tummy and felt tightening. He said, “I think you’re in labor- but I need to check you internally to know”. I called my husband frantically- he was on the train on the way to school. Luckily the night before he printed out subway directions from school to the hospital, and placed it in his book bag. My husband answered and I told him that I needed him to come right away. He asked if I was truly in labor since he couldn’t miss another day of school. As he asked, my doctor checked me internally and said “You are 5cm dilated- we’re going to get these girls out now”- that answered my husband’s question and he was in his way. I called my parents and they got in the car as well.
Everything was so scary. They said they didn’t have time to give me an epidural and wait for it to work- so they put me under. I was alone. It happened so quickly. When I awoke, my husband and parents were there. They said my girls were OK but taken to the NICU.
Born on Tuesday Nov 13th at around 9am-Neve weighed 3.4 pounds and she came out crying- her lungs were better developed because her sac was the one that ruptured and she was in distress inside so it developed her lungs more than her sister.
Soleil was next and weighed 3.10 pounds. She cried at first but had a hard time breathing.
My husband could go see them- since I could not and he took pictures with his cell phone. Neve looks like my husband’s identical twin. No joke- nothing like me! She looks like him now and not like he was as a baby (just like we were talking about chas).
Soleil looks like me.
I got to see them yesterday for the first time. They are both red and hairy- which is what preemies look like. But they are the loves of my life.
Neve is doing better than soleil, even though neve weighs less. Until this morning soleil had a breathing tube down her throat- but they removed it today and will see how she does. I am so happy. I cant wait to hear her cry.
Neve was given some of my breast milk/colostrum(sp?) last night. I was so happy when I saw them feeding that to her. I am using a breast pump and produced only a little bit yesterday and could not since. I will try again.
I held neve yesterday- and she cried before she was handed to me- and stopped when I held her and spoke to her. Like maybe even though her eyes were closed and had all those tubes- she still knew I was her mommy?
It hurts my heart to see them this way, but I know that this is for the best right now. Im not sure how long they will need to be in the nicu- it is a day by day thing.
My husband is so in love with them. He was teary on Tuesday- which is the closest thing I have seen to crying from him- he never cries.
He stares at their pictures for hours and talks about how much he loves them and we analyze who looks like who.
I am either going home tomorrow or Saturday. It will be weird going home after all this time- esp leaving my girls behind.
The healing process is hard because my body is so weak from the bed rest.
Thank you all for your comments and prayers.
These are my little ones:
Neve: my husband’s twin