The loves of my life

where do I begin? I will try to relay as much as my brain can handle right now.

Monday night at around 10pm, I started getting stomach aches. I had just finished a sandwich, so I figured that was the cause. The nurse attached the Doppler to me and the machine didn’t read anything. We thought it was gas. That night I hardly slept due to the cramps so that morning at 5am I asked the nurse to attach the Doppler again. Still- the Doppler didn’t read anything!

I kept feeling like I needed to have a bowel movement, but was constipated. The pain was getting progressively worse, every few minutes, and the nurse didn’t know what to do because according to the machine, I wasn’t in labor. I started to yell to get the doctor.

Luckily for me, my favorite doctor was on call. He ran upstairs and put his hand on my tummy and felt tightening. He said, “I think you’re in labor- but I need to check you internally to know”. I called my husband frantically- he was on the train on the way to school. Luckily the night before he printed out subway directions from school to the hospital, and placed it in his book bag. My husband answered and I told him that I needed him to come right away. He asked if I was truly in labor since he couldn’t miss another day of school. As he asked, my doctor checked me internally and said “You are 5cm dilated- we’re going to get these girls out now”- that answered my husband’s question and he was in his way. I called my parents and they got in the car as well.

Everything was so scary. They said they didn’t have time to give me an epidural and wait for it to work- so they put me under. I was alone. It happened so quickly. When I awoke, my husband and parents were there. They said my girls were OK but taken to the NICU.

Born on Tuesday Nov 13th at around 9am-Neve weighed 3.4 pounds and she came out crying- her lungs were better developed because her sac was the one that ruptured and she was in distress inside so it developed her lungs more than her sister.

Soleil was next and weighed 3.10 pounds. She cried at first but had a hard time breathing.

My husband could go see them- since I could not and he took pictures with his cell phone. Neve looks like my husband’s identical twin. No joke- nothing like me! She looks like him now and not like he was as a baby (just like we were talking about chas).
Soleil looks like me.

I got to see them yesterday for the first time. They are both red and hairy- which is what preemies look like. But they are the loves of my life.
Neve is doing better than soleil, even though neve weighs less. Until this morning soleil had a breathing tube down her throat- but they removed it today and will see how she does. I am so happy. I cant wait to hear her cry.

Neve was given some of my breast milk/colostrum(sp?) last night. I was so happy when I saw them feeding that to her. I am using a breast pump and produced only a little bit yesterday and could not since. I will try again.
I held neve yesterday- and she cried before she was handed to me- and stopped when I held her and spoke to her. Like maybe even though her eyes were closed and had all those tubes- she still knew I was her mommy?

It hurts my heart to see them this way, but I know that this is for the best right now. Im not sure how long they will need to be in the nicu- it is a day by day thing.

My husband is so in love with them. He was teary on Tuesday- which is the closest thing I have seen to crying from him- he never cries.

He stares at their pictures for hours and talks about how much he loves them and we analyze who looks like who.

I am either going home tomorrow or Saturday. It will be weird going home after all this time- esp leaving my girls behind.

The healing process is hard because my body is so weak from the bed rest.

Thank you all for your comments and prayers.

These are my little ones:

Neve: my husband’s twin



16 thoughts on “The loves of my life

  1. K J and the kids

    YEAH !!! I’m SOOO happy to hear from you. Their weight seemed to be right on with your ultrasounds.
    I am so happy for you and your husband. Here are your two blessings. Your two miracles that you never thought you’d get. πŸ™‚
    How cool that you each got one ! ha ha One looks like you and the other your husband.
    LOVE LOVE LOVE their names.
    Take care of them. Take care of you. πŸ™‚
    Thanks for the post.

  2. es

    Awww they are so small and precious! I am so glad that they are doing OK. They should continue to develop and be healthy!

  3. Nearlydawn

    So glad to hear from you! Your girls are so lucky to have such a loving family cheering them on.

    I’m sorry you had to be asleep for their birth, but it is that they got here safely that counts, right?

    I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers. Get well soon.

    One note: Take it easy getting over the bed rest. It will be VERY hard to be mobile for a while. Probably more than you would think.

  4. Chas

    Oh man, I’m so glad to hear some good news!! They are so beautiful, and I love that one looks like him and one looks like you. You are in my thoughts a lot, and I cannot wait to hear more about these gorgeous girls!!

  5. kyky7079

    I’ve read your blog for awhile and wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS! I’m glad you and the girls are doing well. They are beautiful!

  6. The Dunn Family

    Beautiful. I cried when I read that post. The fact that she stopped crying in your arms just warms the heart. The names are beautiful, and I have you all in my thoughts. I can’t imagine how hard it will be to leave without them, but know that they are in the best place to get them big and strong and home in your arms soon!

  7. my two cents

    They are beautiful!! I was put under for my c-section, too, but for different reasons. You sound remarkable for someone who has just given birth, and under difficult circumstances, no less. I hope all of you continue to grow strong. Now go enjoy your darling babies!!!

  8. Kirsten

    Such sweet, precious little angels. They are BEAUTIFUL. It brings back SOOO many memories to read your post and see their pictures. Their weights were so close to my girls and you went 2 weeks earlier than me so that is great!!!
    I know how hard it is right now and, let me just warn you (as if you didn’t know) that the day you leave the hospital will be incredibly hard and heartwrenching…but, you know they have to be where they are and that they are in wonderful, caring, loving hands. Those NICU doctors and nurses are absolutely heaven sent.
    But I also want to tell you, something to look forward to, the day you leave the hospital WITH them…your heart will feel like it is going to burst right open with pride and love for your girls. It is the best.
    They will be NICU graduates soon, but until then I am praying for their strength and health.
    So happy for your new family…

  9. lori

    congratulations on the birth of your two beauties!

    wishing you a speedy recoveries and the girls short stays in the NICU,


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