Drama & Broken Cell phones

And my sweet dear husband finally snapped last night. I knew it was going to happen. He was being way too amazing since I got pregnant.

Last night at about 7:30pm, I lay in bed when the door bell rang. I had a feeling it was the building super. I was right. He had a woman with him and her young son. He asked if they could come in and see our apartment (guess they were interested in moving to the building and he told them that ours would be free soon). I was not happy about it because seriously my house was a hot mess (Socks on the floor, papers everywhere, a mattress in middle of my living room- another story in itself-… me not wearing a bra). I let him in because he was the one hooking us up with the other apartment and I couldn’t tell him no. I am still hoping he will change the ugly checkered floor in the bathroom for me.

Anyway I showed her around my disaster area while my husband spoke to the super. I then asked the super if he could change the bathroom floor. He asked what was wrong with it.. and I showed him my beautiful bathroom in comparison. He said “Well, what do you expect, we redid your bathroom two years ago, the bathroom in the new apt was redone 7 years ago”. The freaking landlord who I had spoken with last week had said that they had just done the ugly bathroom not too long ago. Is 7 years not long ago in his cheap-ass mind? So the super said he would try to change the floor.

He also said that we could sign the lease for the 1st but move in 2 weeks prior . That was nice of him. We cant move in until the painters paint the apt (which should be this week) and so we want to give them our paint colors so that we don’t have to go and paint right after them. Which means, off I go tonight after the doctor to buy paint….

But I digress from my husband having a breakdown.

After the super left my husband gets all stressed out saying that he isn’t even crazy about the new apartment and that it’s going to cost us more money per month/ year. I told him we were moving and that’s that- we had already spoken to the appropriate people, we even just had new potential tenants in our apt 2 minutes prior! What changed?

He is flipping out about our spending.

You know, the past few months we made some purchases: new furniture set (bec our old living room set consisted of a futon with a wooden body which is not very safe for children), leased an SUV (our sedan was totalled and we decided a big car would be smart), and now this apartment. I get it. I know that he’s stressed. We’re also currently saving money for all the things we’ll need for the babies and for the month that I will not be getting paid (I get 8 weeks paid, 4 weeks no pay). On a bright note, his dad did send us some money last month and so now our credit card bill is no longer ( and we are not planning on relying on that again).

So he flips out, screams, and flings his cell phone to the wall. He does that at least twice a year. The cell phone shattered into 20 pieces. Now mind you, he never throws anything at me. He just needs to vent his frustrations and flings whatever is in his direction no matter what or how expensive. I blame this on his family- they all do that! I was once having a conversation with his 19 year old sister about it and she was like “Yeah, that’s normal for us”- and I was like “No, it shouldn’t be!”. His dad did that all the time. I mean, that’s why my husband and his siblings do it. But that’s what scares me. If my husband witnessed his father doing it, and my husband does it sometimes as well (twice a year) than my kids will see and do the same. That sh*t is not going to fly with me (no pun intended). I grew up in a house that my father screamed but never ever ever broke things or used physical violence (his father, my grandfather was an abusive drunk and out of 9 kids, my father got the brunt of his wrath because he would protect his mother).
I mean my husband, he has gotten a lot better. When we first started dating, the breaking things happened a lot- constantly. I once bought a vase that I placed on the table, he broke it in a fit of rage. I then replaced it again- and you can imagine what happened to that one as well.
He has learnt to manage his anger and does it now twice a year (I can set a clock to him).
Anyway, he erupts and I left him alone (which is best when he is like that). I returned an hour later and we talked. He said he gets scared about finances and doesn’t want us to be in debt and have nothing in the bank. I said I understood but also pointed out that children cost money. Especially 2 children. The car, the apartment- it’s for them! So that we have space for our growing family. It’s not like the money is being spent on cruises and fur coats. We are a young couple with two babies on the way. No one expects us to be wealthy. With the new apt, car, children, child care- we will only be breaking even. But you know what- considering he’s in school full time that’s pretty darn good!

I don’t know, I was just VERY emotional last night after that fiasco. I could not stop crying. I woke up and my eyes were still burning this morning. We decided that the apartment is a must but that we cannot spend a dime over what we truly need.

On a brighter note– today may be the day. The day I will find out what my babies are boy, girl which mix? Cant wait. I will keep you all posted tomorrow- the sono woman better try hard. If not, I will throw a cell phone at her!

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4 thoughts on “Drama & Broken Cell phones

  1. Stacie

    Enjoy seeing your babies today!

    As for your dh and the money, all I can say is that it will work out. Worrying about it doesn’t help the situation, just causes more stress. But, worrying is the only thing that your dh probably feels he is in control of right now! The baby thing is happening in you, and no matter what they say, I imagine that they feel left out of the process. Plus all the changes happening in a short while are down right scary. Let him think he is controlling the money thing (whether he is or not) and keep talking to him about it. Maybe writing down everything in black and white will help him with that? Then he can see what “extra” you have each month/week so he doesn’t stress so much. Just an idea.

    Reply
  2. es

    I can sympathize- my husband does not throw or break things, but he sometimes can get really upset about the stupidest things and get all riled up. That’s how both of his parents are, and that’s how his whole family is. I see how his brother is with his kids, and how little patience he has with them, and I do not want my husband to become like that. Luckily, my husband himself realizes that it’s not appropriate- but we’ll see if anything changes once we have the kids.

    If your super doesn’t replace the floor, you may want to think about buying these sticky tiles from Home Depot. They fit nicely together and can totally make the room look nicer- we did it for our kitchen and it made a huge difference. It’s also relatively inexpensive.

    Reply
  3. Mony

    My husband smashed his phone last week. Then put it back together again….and then re-smashed it. Sigh. Stupid.
    Now he has a new phone!

    Reply
  4. Kirsten

    First of all, I am SO anxious to know if you found out what you’ve got in there!!! Yay!!
    Second…money sucks. Daniel & I both had a nervous breakdown during my pregnancy when we calculated everything. I think it was right around the time we purchased the nursery furniture…two cribs, two dressers, two mattresses…stress. I don’t think there is a way to not worry about money when even one new baby is coming into the family so we’ve got a lot on our plates preparing for two. But, you know, it just happens. You make it happen. You pinch here and there and it works out. Somehow it all evens out is what I think. I am so stressed about the costs of formula but then I remember that I’m not spending $75 a week on gas anymore and I’m not spending $100 a month on toll fees anymore…until I go back to work anyway!
    And I understand your concern about the kids seeing outbursts or arguments. We have agreed not to fight in front of ours but I am sure every parent has that intention. My husband can have a pretty short fuse at times, too, and it is best just to walk away and let him cool down. I guess we all just have our ways of handling stress…I tend to bottle mine or just go off and cry to myself, which probably isn’t the best way to handle it either.
    I hope your day goes great today; I can’t wait to see if you found out!

    Reply

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