10 things pictures of ugly bathroom

10 things that would surprise you to know about me… (maybe I have too much free time on my hands)

1. I know what it’s like to be held up at gunpoint…… by the police.

Story: As a freshman in college, I went out on a double date with my best friend and two guys. Now, this is where it gets interesting…. I was crazy about the guy that my best friend was on the date with (it was a blind date that I had set her up on) and did not care much for my date. You see, I only dated the guy to get to his best friend (which is weird then why I would set him up with my friend- yeah, I don’t know what I was thinking). Anyway, we are driving on the highway en route to a restaurant in my date’s car when he pulls out two toy guns (they belonged to his little brothers). The guns looked automatic I must say. We pull into our exit on the highway when we see a police checkpoint. It was night, so the policeman flashed the inside of our car with a flashlight. He waved us on when he saw that we were just some college kids.
As we’re driving down the street a police car cuts us off and barricaded us, police officers got out of the car pointing their guns at our car and screamed “Get out, with your hands up.” Yes, they actually say that.
We were in shock.
As we exited the vehicle, with our hands up, we were confused- what had we done?
We were then told to place our hands on the vehicle as we were patted down. All the while, my best friend is laughing up a storm. She thought it was funny.
Turns out, someone on the highway had called the police when they had saw the “automatic weapons” and described the car. Yes- that really happened. Anyway the police said we could be in trouble… yadad yada…. it started to rain, my hands were still on the car, my hair got frizzy, the boy I liked started hugging me and crying. Quite the memory.

2. My Ex- Uncle stuck his tongue in my ear.

Yes, this gem of a story happened as well. You see, he was married to my mother’s sister and they had divorced. I had known him as my uncle since I was two years old. He would play with me and my brother, take us to movies, buy us ice cream- he was the fun uncle. He never did anything weird to us (just so you know). So when him and my aunt got divorced when I was 19, me and my brother were not about to severe our relationship with him. He was the cool young uncle type. We adored him.
One day I hung out with my uncle at his place ( I was 19). We made some mixed drinks and I guess he got a little too drunk….. you know where this is going. He started acting strange and proceeded to stick his tongue in my ear.
I stood there in schock.

Was this really happening?

I pulled back in horror- he quickly realized what he had done and apologized to me. I left.
I had decided to never tell my aunt or any family members what had happened. I mean my aunt was still the mother of his children and they had a great relationship when it came to the kids.
I saw him three years later at a family event and he took me aside and apologized, saying that he always viewed me like a little sister and had a little too much to drink that night(I was dating my husband at the time and he too was at the event, and when my “uncle” took me aside my husband was watching him with hawk eyes). I was still weirded out by him. I guess that was not the respond he was hoping for.
When it came time to invite him to my wedding, I had to. I mean, it would have been weird to all my family if I hadn’t (considering they knew that we were once so close). So I did. He didn’t come. You know what his reason was to my brother? He said that he did not come to my wedding because the last time he saw me, I was a bitch to him. Yes, he said that.

3. Most celebrities that I have met are asses- yet I cant stop reading celeb trash.
I am about to burst some of your bubbles. The celebs that I have met that are known for their “sweetness” are in reality…. jerks.
Case #1: Al Ro.kr “America’s friendly weatherman”- not friendly. Met him. I was walking with a friend in New York a few years back when we see Al. She decides to walk past him and say hi. Nothing more. He looks her straight in the eye and says “NO autographs”. She stands there bewildered and answered ” I didn’t ask for one” and walked away.
Case# 2: Rach.el Ray: I work for a huge media company here in NYC. I was on my lunch break with a friend when we saw her. She seems so cool on TV, so my friend walks up to her. Rachel had NO Interest in saying hello. She is not friendly. Now, mind you- I never ever walk up to celebs. Most of my friends do, but I don’t think they are special and I would NEVER ask for an autograph- I mean why would I? They wipe there ass just like everyone else.
Case# 3: Rob.in Williams: Now, this didn’t happen to me, but it happened to a good friend of mine. She was 10, at the airport with her dad, when she saw Robin sitting in the airport lounge. She loved him and her father convinced her to walk up to him and get an autograph. She mustered up the courage and approached. Robin said no to the autographed and asked not to be bothered. He broke her heart, and my own when I heard this story.

This can go on and on. These guys are jerks.

But today one celeb redeemed himself: George Lopez. The man is the sweetest! I was picking up my lunch from delivery in my building downstairs when I saw him standing in the lobby waiting for someone. I never ever approach celebs- like I mentioned, but I was at his stand up show in Radio City a few months back and thought he did a great job. I walked up to him and apologized for bothering him and complimented the show. He was seriously the nicest! He wanted to shake my hand, and we discussed his comedy. He was very very genuine. They don’t come like that these days, I’ll tell you that much. It was a nice experience- but I probably would never do it again. He might have been extra nice because I was pregnant- since us pregnant women can get away with a lot of shit.

4. I think my husband’s ex put a curse on me.

I know that this is all speculation, but bare with me. My husband dated a girl on and off for two years prior to our relationship. Towards the end she expressed an interest in voodoo. She had been with a friend to a “voodoo doctor” and got hooked. Now, as the relationship between her and my husband was coming to a close, she told my sister-in-law that she had planted something in my husband’s backyard to make him love her. Yup.
It didn’t help, the relationship was over.
Fast forward, 3 months into my relationship with the hubs- he gets a call- from her! Now I would have let this go if a week prior she hadn’t been to our house and left a letter. In the letter she said that she had a dream about my husband’s mother (who had been dead since my husband was 10- which means she never met her) and came by to bring flowers to her grave site. I was steamed! My husband convinced me to ignore her. But then, a week to the day, she calls. I answer. She figures she got the wrong number. I inform her that she had the right number and that she should stop calling my boyfriend. She said that she had dialed his number “by accident”. I answer, “well, was the letter you left here last week an accident as well?”. She proceeds to inform me that was none of my business and hangs up.

Fast forward a few months later. I fell ill quite a few times. Now, considering that my husband lived in another country, our relationship was long distance for most of the time. But every time I would come visit him (for months at a time) something would go wrong with me. My first cyst developed while I was there, and so did my second. Every time I step foot into his home (which is also his family’s land) I do not get good vibes. I know she did something. I am not crazy. Now being away, I am ok.

5. I love oranges but hate anything orange-flavored.

6. I once found myself in a crack den with people OD’ing on the floor and the police at the door.
Now, mind you- I was a good girl. But you sometimes meet the wrong people in college. I ended up with a friend’s friend in a motel, hanging out- when all this went down. It freaked me out. I had never done one drug in my life- yet there I was, being questioned by the police. After answering their questions they looked at me and said that a girl like me did not belong there and I should go home. The problem was- I was stranded in Connecticut with no way to get home. That’s a whole other story.

7. I dont like my husband’s tiny old grandmother.
There is something evil about her. I feel guilty saying it, but he sees it as well.
8. I killed Orville Redenboker.
I may have mentioned this before. But I did. I was 15, and at midnight had a hankering for popcorn. As the popcorn was popping I looked at the jar with his smiling face. I thought to myself “I wonder if he’s dead yet”.

Fast forward: Next morning….. I was getting ready for school when I heard the news Orville Redenbacher had died around midnight the night before. He was in his hot tub, had a heart attack, and drowned.
“According to The New York Times, Redenbacher was found dead in a whirlpool bathtub in his condominium, having drowned after suffering a heart attack…
Now, I know I wasn’t there… but that scared the shit out of me. You know what scares me even more so? That they are now using his images on TV.
9. As a child I could not go to the bathroom if the shower curtain was not pulled back (revealing the tub).
This was because I had seen nightmare on elm street and was convinced that Freddy would reveal himself to me as I was peeing, from behind the curtain. I also had this fear about Michael Jackson.

10. And finally…..You know what? I cant think of anything good. I will get back to you.
Ok, so as promised I am posting pictures of my ugly ugly upcoming bathroom. Some of you may say that it’s not so bad. Pictures can be deceiving. I LOATHE it. The tiles I currently have are a nice cream/tan color that go with everything! My floor is white. My current bathroom looks fresh and natural. This one looks like a 50’s dinner threw up on it.
***By the way guys- this is the small bathroom you get for $1300 a month in NYC and surrounding area. Eat your heart out!***
Exhibit A : Notice how there is no room for a mirror on top of the sink? Isn’t that lovely?

Exhibit B- They decide to hang the mirror on the left wall. That makes a lot of sense.

Exhibit C: Don’t you just love the beautiful curtains the last people had up? WHAT WERE THINKING?

Exhibit D: The checkered floor. How I hate it. The super said he may be able to change the floor. At least I will have a bit of salvation.

And if you’re interested this is my almost 20 week belly….

Mind you I had just returned from work. I was tired and bloated. These are my old comfy pj’s. This is by no means a “Glamour Shot”


6 thoughts on “10 things pictures of ugly bathroom

  1. Kristen

    This post had me rolling! I can’t believe the police run-ins you’ve had. It’s like a soap opera!

    And I don’t get those celebs. They are so used to having their asses wiped that they expect special treatment. Get over yourselves! I’m glad George Lopez had some decency and kindness. He has been through a lot the past few years himself.

    Oh, and that shower curtain really is hideous. WTF?! I’m with you there, girlfriend.

  2. Chas

    Well, it might be bad, but it isn’t as bad as I was expecting..no where near as bad. I can’t imagine having only one bathroom and it being so small at that…I guess this is the price you pay to live in a big city.

  3. es

    You sure do have a lot of interesting stories.

    And your bathroom is SOO not bad. The mirror thing is weird and annoying- but you should see the cracked paint that I have in my bathroom (and we just had it repainted last year… and it cracked again).

    I think my belly is finally starting to catch up to yours!

  4. K J and the kids

    Love all of the goods.

    I don’t think the bathroom is as bad as you made it sound.
    I’ve seen MUCH uglier.

    You look fantastic. LOVE the belly. It doesn’t look too big. YET 🙂 ha ha

  5. topcat

    You are SUCH a sweetheart, thank you so much for checking in. I LOVE this post, love it! And your tummy is BEAUTIFUL!!

    I’m off to bed – but, I will be studying your bathroom to see if I have any tips for you. I’m sure you will make it cool, tho.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s