It’s strange to think that one year from now my life will be completley different. I dont htink that anything in my life will ever change like this huge life event coming up.
I mean this is larger than life (much like my thighs).
It’s funny how I see pics of celebs that are pg and they look thin all over but have a belly bump. Who looks like that?
I’ll tell you who doesn’t: me!
It’s funny how you grow all over- not just in your belly! Well, a few lucky chosen ones only grow in that area.
But I love the thought that I am pregnant and have two little human beings inside of me. Its such a strange thought because it’s not like I feel them yet. The only reason I know they are there are from the sonograms and protruding belly.It just feels unnatural. I mean I know that its the most natural thing in the world, but when you are IF and it seems like it’s happening to everyone but you- it’s not something that seems or comes naturally (especially if you got pg through ivf). So why would that feeling change within a matter of 4 months?
It reminds me of being overweight. Most of my life I was about 50 pounds heavier than I should have been. I had always been viewed as “Chubby” and “pleasantly plump”- my entire life. Then within a matter of a few months I dropped the weight- but that didn’t mean that I didn’t feel overweight. People were treating me differently and I saw something else in the mirror but it takes quite longer for your mind to catch up to your body… and I think that’s whats happening to me. I wonder when I’ll feel pregnant. When I give birth? Ha. This is all so surreal. You would think that being 3.5 months pg with twins would change that- but frankly it doesn’t.
Everyday after work when I arrive home my husband comes and greets my belly. He kisses it and says “hello guys.. I love you”. Last night he said that he feels love for them already. I don’t know if I am there yet though and I think its because it has not fully sunk in yet. Is it weird that I don’t “love” them yet? Should I? I mean I haven’t seen them yet or had that bonding moment. I don’t eat certain things, stay away from hazardous situations, feed them whatever they are craving (wink wink) and make sure I am healthy and well rested. But can I call it love- no, not yet anyway…
I hope that doesn’t make me a horrible person.
So tonight I am going to see the movie I have been waiting for … the Simpson’s movie. I will let you know how it is but I may be a little bias because I have loved the show since it was a short. Hope you have a great wknd ladies!