Advice

I need advice!

I’ve brought this up before but I’m not sure how to go about it.

In early March, I interviewed for a position that I really wanted within my company. It seemed like a sure thing- my recommendations were great, she liked me etc… But I didn’t hear anything for over a month. Then I started the IVF process in April. Shots, retrieval, transfer.

During my 2WW – one day before my btp- I found out I got the job. This meant I interviewed for the position and got it over 2 months later! I didn’t think I was going to get it because so much time had passed since the interview. I just went on with my life and with my plans.

Well, now Ive been in this position for over 2 weeks and I’m starting to show ( I am carrying two after all) . I have no idea what to do. I know no one wants to know that the person that they just hired is pregnant, but really- what can I do? I figured I would tell her when I reach my second trimester the first week of July. I’m afraid that every one’s curious eyes will beat me to it. And it’s summer time so there is only so much covering up I can do. I am so nervous.

I mean my boss has a 5 year old and a 15 month old as well, so she could understand. But since its still so new I don’t know what to do.

I need advice cyber friends!

Thanks,

-M
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8 thoughts on “Advice

  1. Chas

    They cannot do anything. Anytime someone hires a woman of childbearing age, they should know that she could turn up pregnant at any time. You cannot be discriminated against for being pregnant. I don’t blame you for wanting to wait until the end of your first trimester, so if you can, then do that. I waited until I was sixteen weeks b/c of problems I’d had, but at that point I wasn’t pregnant w/ twins, so my belly probably wasn’t as big as yours will be. With your boss being a mother herself, I’m sure she’ll be very understanding.

    Reply
  2. Pillarr1

    I would not bring it up until you are sure how it is going to affect your work. Until you are clear on your needs (like maybe taking naps or going on light duty), I would keep quiet unless your boss is the type that you think would want to know at this stage.

    Reply
  3. Nearlydawn

    Hmmm… I think, if I liked her, and she seems reasonable typically, that I would tell her. I would voice my concerns, just like you have with us, and go ahead and make it official with HR, etc. That way, there is really nothing she can do regarding your job.

    Tell her you didn’t want her to be the last to know, and you want her support during this time. If she doesn’t support you then no amount of time is gonna change that.

    I ONLY say this because you are starting to show. Otherwise, I’d wait until I really was ready to tell it.

    Reply
  4. K J and the kids

    I think you should tell them.
    I think it’s a courteous and professional thing to do.
    A LOT, not all….but A LOT of twin pregnancies end up with some kind of bed rest or even hospital rest. You are high risk already….you will probably have several more appointments towards the end of the pregnancy than most. These are all things that you will want to discuss with your boss.
    If I were you, I would come up with your game plan. Tell her how committed you are and how much time you plan on taking off.

    You are going to want to find out if you have the option or ability to work from home if need be.

    They can’t do anything to you. They can’t fire you because you are pregnant. Hopefully they will return the courtesy back to you.

    Reply
  5. Malky B.

    I would wait as long as you can to tell her. She might guess beforehand since she is a woman and a mom but I’d wait.

    Reply
  6. topcat

    Well beautiful Gemini Girl, I actually believe that honesty is the best policy. If you’re honest, there’s nothing to hide, and you’ll probably feel better. Your “two diamonds” inside you are much more important than any job. I would sit down with your boss, tell her how nervous you have been about this conversation, pointing out that you interviewed and accepted the job BEFORE you knew you were pregnant. Shit happens. She’ll deal with it. I’m sure she’ll be happy for you, considering the effort and heartache it’s taken for you to get where you are. At least this way you can focus your energies where they should be – on growing 2 lil humans, not stressing about work. Good luck with it. xo

    Reply
  7. Kirsten

    I have to agree with the pp who said to go ahead and tell her. My boss was one of the first people (outside of family)to know and I think she really appreciated that. Even though she knew all about my IVF cycle, I was still nervous to tell her that it actually worked because she doesn’t have kids and has no intention of ever having them. Plus, the last girl that worked for her left for good when she got pregnant so I knew that’d be in the back of her mind. But, she has been awesome and it was a huge load of my mind to know that she knew and I could be myself. If you feel deep down inside that you need to tell her, go with your gut.

    Reply

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