IVF: Week 5

So it’s getting close and Im getting nervous. My egg retrieval is next week. My husband has been giving me shots the past 2 weeks, in the mornings and at night. The meds havent really made me too crazy. In 3 weeks I will know wether this process was successful and I am scared out of my mind. I am scared because what if all this didnt work? All these meds, all this emotional turmoil?
I am also scared if it does happen. I mean, what if it does? That means that I may be a mommy in a few short months.

Me, a mother.

Me.

This is Me your talking about.

I love children, I do. But the strangest thing in the world to me is looking at someone and knowing that they look like me, because I bore them. Because they are an extension of me. And when that child looks at me I know that my only job in this world is to take care of them. And I want to take care of them.

Call this being emotional because of the meds, but I had an ultrasound today to see if the meds were doing what they need to be doing. That means, that all my eggs are growing (so that they can be taken out later and fertilized). I looked at those circles on the screen and almost cried. Maybe my child is one of those dots. I know that I have a way to go before that tiny circle becomes an egg, but that circle is my hope. Its something that I can see, not just hope for.

So its a week to the fertilization and I am freaked out a bit. First of all, you are asleep during this entire process. They knock you out.

Then you wake up with pain, while your sweet husband has had to deposit his sperm into a cup, which was no doubt an easy and painless experience.

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