IVF: Monday Day 1

I got my period yesterday.

I no longer have that tinge of hope that I may be pregnant. I know that it wont happen naturally for me. It’s just not in the stars. I have come to accept that. So on day 2 ( which is today) I had to go get my blood work done. I have no idea what they are checking for, some kind of horomone I assume. The doors opened at 6:45 am, and I was third on line, not too shabby considering there were about 12-14 women that came in after me. I took a cab and arrived early so that I could get to work on time, which I did. Now I have to wait for the ivf nurses to call me back so that they can give me the green light to start taking birth control pills. Isnt that crazy- I’m trying to get pg and I need to go on bcp for a month? From what I understand ( which isnt much) the bcp are suppose to make my eggs or follicals the same size. Three weeks into the bc, I have to start taking my shots. But I wont speak about that now.

What I want to write about are birth control pills. I have been on them once in my life, for a span of 4 weeks. I gained about 8 pounds. Of course I was a different person then- I was overweight as it was, I didnt eat right- I didnt know how to. So when the bcp made me hungry, I ate. I ate like a pig. When I stopped taking them a month later, I lost the weight. So needless to say I havent taken any since 2000.

My best friend Franny, which has an 11 month child at home and is expecting her second in a month, recommended I take ortha tri- cyclin low. Now I know I shouldnt be taking birth control advice from a woman who is having her second child in a year’s span, but she is a wise girl. She said that when she took it, she actually lost weight- and so did her sister-in-law. So I figure, why not give it a try?
I scanned websites trying to find out other women’s experiences after taking it, and believe me when I say- I should not have read them! Women are saying they gained a lot of weight, it made them intolerable to live with etc…. I hope it has the opposite effect on me. I cant gain weight right now since my cousin’s wedding is next week ( in Israel) and I’m flying out on Saturday. The last thing I need is to put on a nother 10 pounds.

I’ve been on the south beach diet now since wednesday, and I feel as though it’s helped. I’m not sure how much weight I’ve lost, since I havent hopped on a scale in months ( out of shear dread). I really want to lose 10 pounds. On the south beach plan you cant have any sugar, fruit, carbs, starches….pretty much you cant have anything good. All Ive been eating is meat, eggs, cheese and veggies. I’ve cut out sugar- which is my weakness- even out of my coffee. YOu know what- I like it without sugar! But, I could not cut out my milk in my coffee. Just couldnt do it.

Along with all that drama, I am waiting on an answer about a position that I interviewed for a week and a half ago. It seemed to have gone really well, but for some reason- still no answer. She even got a great refrence for me  but still nothing. I was keeping up hope, bec it went well and its a perfect fit and all- until now. I went into the company website and that job was posted again on the site on friday. I wonder why that is? Is it automaticly updated until it’s offical? Im starting to lose hope… there is no good reason why she shouldnt pick me as her assistant. I have experinece, I know everyone at my company- which she needs.. and yet I still havent heard back. I guess if its meant to be it will be. Its hard to swallow sometimes, but thats just life.

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